The Music of the Soul

55 Reasons British men are gorgeous

2.) The way they laugh with their whole face when they’re reeeally happy.

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I appreciate a good laugh, one born out of reflex without all the insecurities holding it back. It feels so good to laugh! One of my favorite feelings is to laugh a giddy laugh, the kind where you can’t catch your breath and tears fill your eyes. Or the deep belly laugh, when you throw your whole body into it and the sound just fills up the room.

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Richard laughs often,

sometimes the more reserved “ha, ha, ha” variety

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while other times it’s an

uncontrollable mirth.

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Richard not only laughs audibly or physically but also with his eyes, they light up with a delightful twinkle.

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Laughter is so freeing!

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“Take time to laugh-

it is the music of the soul.”

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Fanvid Friday: Save You

yeah, I know it’s Saturday and not Friday…again. I spent Friday night surfing around for fanvideos. I was getting really discouraged because I just wasn’t finding any that I really liked (I’m picky) but then my luck changed. This one, Save Me by Angela C. Ryan/Misshale78 grabbed me, right in the feels.

I really really like this one. It embodies Lucas so strongly for me, the foundation of my feelings for him: I want to save him. I wish I could have been the person he leaned on when he first came back from prison, I wish I could have been who he turned to instead of slimy Genevieve, I wanted to be the person he trusted enough to confide in during the John Bateman reveal. Maybe I couldn’t have prevented any of it but at least he wouldn’t have felt so alone.

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*shuddering sigh* okay, back to the video: the opening image of the barrel of a revolver, very poignant. I really like that the first scene chosen is the one with Lucas and Ruth too. That scene carries so much weight. There’s respect and friendship between them, which really brings home the seriousness of the situation; that Lucas would override that illustrates how very lost he truly is.

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the flashes of the burdens Lucas bears. and those eyes.

I wish I could save you

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It’s gonna be alright

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Fingertips

Music & More Challenge

32.) instrument you’d like to see Richard play

the piano

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Richard with Harriet Rowland, during “The World’s End” Premiere

It’s been mentioned that Richard played the cello and the flute in school and although I really do love to hear the cello played, there’s just something about a man playing piano that grabs my attention. I think it’s the fingers, the way they almost caress those keys.

your fingertips across my skin...

your fingertips across my skin…

I have a piano and I took lessons for a few years when I was young but not much of it has stayed with me. reading notes feels like doing math to me, not something I enjoy. occasionally I’ll pick out a tune by ear with one hand but I rarely use both.

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I can play one song by memory, using both hands, all the way through. it’s a waltz I had to learn for a recital when I was 11 years old and somehow it’s embedded itself into my brain. the odd thing is that when I play it, while I’m concentrating on the right hand the left just starts playing it’s part without my knowledge. freaky.

What would I like Richard to play on the piano? hmm. the thought of him playing a soft instrumental would be okay, I guess, though I’d rather hear something more soulful. honestly though, you know what would be fun? ragtime! my Grandfather used to have a player piano when I was young and I loved watching that piano play. If I run across someone playing that type of music, I always stop and watch. aside from the fact that it reminds me of a carnival ride, the actual playing always impresses me. classical guitar is like that for me too. I wouldn’t put that kind of pressure on Richard though, something more mainstream would impress me just fine ;)

:star:

music question: your favorite classical piece.

Bach Cello Suite no.1 Prelude

I’m not all that familiar with classical music. I enjoy it but there are only a handful of songs that I can recognize and name when I hear them. When I was a teenager my grandmother used to support the band of a neighboring High School by buying a season pass to their classical music series. so once a month we would attend, and while she fell asleep (every single time!) I would try to pay attention and get a feel for which instruments I liked best. I knew that I liked the piano and the violin but what I learned from those sessions was that I also really enjoyed the cello as well. I liked the way it reverberated in my chest when it was played. I’m afraid I don’t have much patience for whole symphonies though.

now what did I do with that "class"? I know it's here somewhere...

now what did I do with that “class”? I know it’s here somewhere…

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55 Reasons

I came across this post on BuzzFeed a couple of weeks ago that listed various reasons why British Men are gorgeous. It’s cute and filled with gifs galore, my kind of post! and as I read through each point, I realized that pretty much all of them could be directly applied to Richard. Challenge accepted…

1.) That thing they do where they dip their chin a little and look up at you.

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I’m quite familiar with this gesture

because Harry seems to be the king of it!

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Harry’s not the only RA character that busts that move though, I’m almost certain that all of them have used it at one point or another.

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It’s understandable,

since Richard himself seems to be so fond of it :)

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(screen-caps from RichardArmitageNet.com)

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Thornton Ramblings

North & South weekend, when everyone tells their own stories of what viewing North & South for the first time meant to them and how it launched them straight into a fascination with Richard Armitage. Lovely, lovely stories, all of them. but I didn’t come to Richard Armitage through North & South, that honor goes to The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey instead. and although I greatly enjoyed North & South, once I finally got around to viewing it, it didn’t have a significant impact on my life.  This often leaves me wondering how much those small differences have to do with the way I view things in relation to Richard, the choices he makes both personally and professionally, and the reactions to them.

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In large part, that is why I avoided viewing North & South for so long ( 5 months is an eternity in obsessive fangirl reckoning!). The hype was so strong…it scared me. What if I didn’t think Richard as John Thornton was all that? I hadn’t been disappointed so far with the likes of Thorin, Harry, Lucas, Porter, Mulligan, and Andrews but what if this was the one to dull the shine? and if I didn’t think North & South was anything to write home about, just another period piece with another misunderstood Darcy, how would that reflect upon my growing relations with the fans who absolutely adored it? So much pressure! It was the role that launched the fandom, after all.

who is Harry Kennedy and what is a "sweater"?

who is Harry Kennedy and what is a “sweater”?

It all worked out in the end, of course. Viewing “the kiss” on youtube before I watched the actual series is what finally prompted me to give in. That kiss was… I think “holy f*ck” were my exact words upon my first viewing! I had never seen, and have yet to see, a better kiss onscreen e-v-e-r. My impression up until that point, not having viewed the series itself, was that the story was a classic “I hate you/denial” piece, full of stubbornness, misunderstandings, and UST (unresolved sexual tension); so basically every dime-store romance novel ever written. Prideful, outspoken female characters get under my skin (the one I see in the mirror each morning is hard enough to handle!). I won’t say my assumptions were entirely wrong but there was a vulnerability on screen that softened the harshness.

actions speak louder than words

actions speak louder than words

My people, working class coal miners and steel workers, came from the same stock as the workers in Milton. Some even from the North of England itself. My childhood was full of company Strikes and Scabs and the devastation it brings to a community when it’s main places of employment shut down. different from the time period that North & South was set in but similar enough to make an impression on me (Ewan McGregor’s “Brassed Off” is a movie that touches me deeply in this regard). now, because of John Thornton, I was empathizing with Management (my Union loyal family will disown me!)

is the least you can do

it’s the least you can do

So I’m not saying that North & South leaves me unaffected, it was just never a turning point in my “fan path” the way it has been for so many others. I’m kind of envious, in a way. To be struck by lightening from one project, one performance alone, must be a powerful thing. These things tend to come to me more softly, they rattle around my subconscious and tap on my shoulder, until the day that I finally decide to acknowledge them. When I do, they’re already there to stay. That’s what my discovery of Richard was like. One day I had never heard of him or seen those piercing eyes, and the next day I had. There were a few weeks in between where I tried to put him on the back burner and convince myself that he couldn’t be any different from the others. but he sat there and simmered…and smouldered (LOL!)…and without really realizing what I was doing, I started to research him; slowly, then obsessively. and once he came into focus, it felt like he had always been there.

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In a way, I guess that’s how John Thornton is for me too. He’s the face of this fandom, the founder, if you will. You can’t be a Richard Armitage fan without at least being aware of Mr. Thornton. So although it wasn’t because of him that I joined this fandom, and it took awhile before I even “met” him, I felt like he was always there. watching. Thank You for stalking me Mr. Thornton, no good deed goes unpunished…

what goes around comes around, man

what goes around comes around, Thornton

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Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button?

Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. I’ve been *insert BS excuse here*

What I’ve really been doing is losing track of time and space while reading too much fan-fiction! I think I’ve gotten it out of my system (mostly), so I should be more talkative soon. In the meantime:

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I love the funky button jeans

and I won’t apologize for it.

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they’re different enough from the norm to be eye-catching but not so unconventional that they invite intense scrutiny.

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they was dancin’ and singin’

and movin’ to the groovin’…

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I Gotta Feeling

Music & More Challenge

31.) favorite audio performance

ah, the voice. so much to choose from! I’ve listened to most of Richard’s audio performances: books, poems, adverts, etc. and there are several things about certain ones that I really enjoy, but it’s hearing him read “Code Poem for the French Resistance” that is my favorite, hands down.

The poem itself is so romantic to begin with but then you add in that deep whisper-like cadence and I am gone! I feel it, tightly, in the middle of my chest. when he says “pause” I get a shiver every.single.time.

I gotta feeling...

I gotta feeling!

:star:

music question: a favorite vocal performance

I Was  Broken, sung by Robert Pattinson

this is a performance that you either love or you hate. even though it’s very raw and his voice cracks quite a bit as he goes along, it’s always touched something deep inside of me that’s very strong. Before “Twilight” hit but after “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”, Robert used to do open-mic nights sometimes with his musician friends. I suspect it gave him a venue to unleash something that he couldn’t do in the public eye he suddenly found himself in. no one knew it was “Cedric” up there on that stage, they just thought it was some dude learning how to play and perform the guitar. This song was written (and later recorded) by his friend, Marcus Foster. Robert’s version sounds different but the lyrics are the same. The lyrics themselves dig down deep and get to that place that you wish you could forget but probably shouldn’t.

Tired of the sound I’ve heard before
The gnawing of the night time at the door
Haunted by the things I’ve made
Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade

but it’s this performance that speaks to me, makes me want to cry but frees me at the same time. I can hear that in his voice, he’s purging himself of something and it’s so raw and passionate! there’s also a video, though quite blurry, that shows the performance about half way through the song. it skips the beginning verses, which I miss hearing, but you can see how he’s throwing himself into the song, forgetting where he is for those few minutes and just feeling.

when I first heard this performance, I was entranced by it. I listened to it over and over and over again for days on end. it was something I needed at that time, something that told me hey, you’re not the only one. I feel too and sometimes it’s a heavy burden to bear. I went through a time where I tried to shut my emotions off. it was just so exhausting to feel all of the time. it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. I missed the happy times and I missed the depth. I missed the laughter and I missed the hope. I came out the other side with a better understanding of what it means to be me though. someone once said “it’s not that we don’t feel, it’s that we feel too much” and that is how it is for me. I’ve been learning to embrace it. I don’t want to close myself off like that, just because it’s easier. nothing worth having is ever easy.

the Crinkles make my toes feel warm & toasty

the Crinkles make my toes feel warm & toasty

with the poem that Richard reads, I feel it physically in the middle of my chest. with the Robert Pattinson song, I feel it on my collarbone. when I read something angsty, I always feel it in my pinky fingers. isn’t that weird?

I'm going to keep the location of this feel to myself...

I should probably keep the location of this feel to myself…

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