Love Yourself

every time I hear the “mama” part of this song, I think of mama Thornton not liking Margaret. so here’s my interpretation of the lyrics, from John Thornton’s point of view.


Love Yourself by Justin Bieber (the link will take you to the song on Youtube, in a separate window,  so you can play it in the background while viewing this post)


Love Yourself

For all the times that you rain on my parade, and all the clubs you get in using my name




You think you broke my heart, oh girl, for goodness sake. You think I’m crying on my own, well, I ain’t




And I didn’t wanna write a song
’cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care, I don’t. But you still hit my phone up




And baby, I be moving on.
And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back,
maybe you should know that




My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone. And I never like to admit that I was wrong




And I’ve been so caught up in my job,
didn’t see what’s going on.
But now I know,
I’m better sleeping on my own




‘Cause if you like the way you look that much, Oh baby, you should go and love yourself. And if you think that I’m still holding on to somethin’
you should go and love yourself




And when you told me that you hated my friends, the only problem was with you and not them




And every time you told me my opinion was wrong. And tried to make me forget where I came from

vlcsnap-00864 copy



And I didn’t wanna write a song
’cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care, I don’t.
But you still hit my phone up




And baby, I be moving on.
And I think you should be somethin’ I don’t wanna hold back,
maybe you should know that




My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone. And I never like to admit that I was wrong




And I’ve been so caught up in my job,
didn’t see what’s going on.
But now I know, I’m better sleeping on my own




‘Cause if you like the way you look that much, Oh baby, you should go and love yourself. And if you think that I’m still holding on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself




For all the times that you made me feel small. I fell in love, now I feel nothing at all




And never felt so low when I was vulnerable. Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?




‘Cause if you like the way you look that much, Oh baby, you should go and love yourself. And if you think that I’m still holding on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself




‘Cause if you like the way you look that much, Oh baby, you should go and love yourself. And if you think that I’m still holding on to somethin’
You should go and love yourself




Filed under Film, Music


Hello! it’s been awhile, well over a month! 


oh, nowhere really, just “around”. I’ve been lurking on Twitter and Tumblr, reading fanfiction and doing some early spring cleaning, both metaphorically and physically.



a little bit of this and a little bit of that. during my cleaning frenzy, I was going through the downloads on my computer to scale down the pics I had saved there. I whittled it down to 10 of Richard, 7 of Jamie Dornan, 2 of Christian Bale, and about 15 various nature pics. that seems reasonable, right? 



while looking through all the clutter, I stopped at a certain pic of Richard and… got distRActed.


there are many things about it that still pull me in, and I thought “there’s something there, something unexplainable that’s all him”. as long as Richard continues to be a mystery to me, I’ll enjoy chasing the answers.


Here’s to the power of photographs and what they mean to each of us


Filed under Fandom

Postcards From the Edge

As I tried to break free from the mundane mood I’ve been in lately, I took your suggestions to heart and started revisiting some of the gems that brought me here in the first place. Guylty suggested rereading the messages that Richard has written to the fan base. I’ve enjoyed their lightheartedness in the past, so it seemed like a good place to start. 



I’ve talked about the fan messages before and how I appreciate seeing the silly side of Richard that shows up in many of them, particularly during the filming of Robin Hood and Spooks. This time around though a different angle grabbed my attention- the progression of a newly recognized actor, as he moves through the frustration of celebrity, into a more balanced individual. 

Times Shoot III


The messages start with short, postcard type snippets of what Richard was working on at the time. it didn’t feel like promotion, but a casual and warm way of relaying what had been occupying his time. soon an undercurrent of apology ran throughout that picked up speed as the messages went along. apologies for not churning out notes of thank you and requested signed photos at a fast enough pace, apologies for the aesthetic look of characters he was portraying and the quality of programs they were part of, even an apology for his charity doodle not being up to par. I suspect some of this was due to inherent insecurity but also a result of fan reaction. 



As time moved on correspondence, while often humorous, also seemed to reflect frustration. poking fun at the lack of timely communication with the “fan abandonment” theme, walking the fine line of what to say and what not to say by using a fictional “spokesperson”, and touching upon skepticism about the author of the messages with self-depreciation. the signatures also changed from “Richard” to the shortened “RA, with some messages not including a signature at all. 



The messages were regulated to once a year after that, which isn’t surprising considering the filming of The Hobbit and all that entailed. the Richard that appeared in the messages that followed seemed more contemplative, and possibly wiser, as he pulled back from making himself openly available in that way. soon he switched over to Twitter, where communicating in 140 characters and photos has it’s own set of challenges. 


slang is a language all it’s own


I find the earlier messages endearing in their postcard simplicity, and the later messages interesting in their contemplative depth, but the middle ones resonate with me the most. on the outside they’re humorous and creative, yet underneath they hint at struggle (I may have just described myself…). I find that comforting because it says to me that my struggles with similar issues are not a beat-yourself-up weakness. and that’s okay, because Richard has been there, done that too. 


to delete or not to delete, that is the question!


No matter which way you view the messages, I think we can agree that they’re special in the glimpses they provide into who Richard was before. from that first contact post in relation to the BBC North & South message board, through the ups and downs of fandom praise and disagreement, to the checking-in-with-old-friends quality over quantity. 



I’m reminded of the end scene from the movie Field of Dreams, when the Kevin Costner character sees a younger version of his father walking across the baseball field, and remarks:

“Look at him. He’s got his whole life in front of him and I’m not even a glint in his eye.”


The messages Richard wrote to his fanbase not only give me a peek at who he was before I knew of him, but they also remind me of who I was when I first read them- a newbie with no boundaries or expectations.


“Hey, is this Heaven?” 

No, it’s Richard Armitage fandom. 

BreJqk8CcAASqF7.jpg large

“enjoy the typos!”

Kelly x



Filed under Fandom



*insert painfully awkward small talk here



my creativity seems to be low at the moment. I’m itching to blog about something, I just don’t know what! my mind has been occupied with holiday/family stress and all the insanity that’s been in the news lately.



To try and lighten things up, I watched Harry in The Vicar of Dibley yesterday and then followed that up with an array of fanvid favorites. but it failed to pull me out of my funk. 

you really must watch me more than once!


I’ve convinced my daughter to watch LOST with me, from the beginning, so we’ve been binge watching it when she gets home from school. it’s hard not to ambush her with 6 seasons worth of knowledge though. 

I can’t tell you!


So I thought that opening up communication with all of you might help, because rambling on in the comments can be it’s own kind of magic!

truer words have never been spoken

what is the RA go-to subject you turn to when in need of escape?

jeans. always the jeans.

is there something, non-RA related, that can always make you smile? 

Christian Bale dancing. every time.

what kind of questions do you wonder about?

will Richard feel this way about The Hobbit?


*all subjects welcome, but I should probably warn you that my stress trigger words at the moment seem to be Mother-Brother-Dog. use with caution.



a quote from the Hannibal commentary, to start us off:

“that was one of my very first shots as well. so i was kind of, firstly, very nervous about joining a new crew, and about being naked in front of a new crew in minus fifteen temperature, where your body isn’t gonna necessarily look its best.  but they were very good to me. I asked for a fluffer, but one didn’t arrive.”  – Richard Armitage 


cheeky Armitage is alive and strong!



Filed under Fandom

Who Done It?

Murder mysteries are difficult for me to follow. when reading them, I’m constantly flipping back and forth through pages, trying to keep it all straight. when watching them, I make my guess on “who done it” fairly early, but then spend the rest of the time hopelessly lost! so when I happened upon an old notebook recently and found a set of notes I took while watching Miss Marple: ordeal by innocence, I had a hard time making heads or tails of them. adding pictures may help…



-Gwenda the secretary longs for her boss

while he dreams of a galaxy Far, Far Away…


-Jacko (the villain) implores his Mother for money



-Family, relaxing by the fire, hear argument but seem relatively(puns are fun!) unconcerned



-Jacko tries to kill Mother, but family saves her. Mother wonders if she’s done right by her children, then tells Jacko’s brother (Bobby) that she shouldn’t have bothered adopting him & his brother


oh, burn!


-meanwhile: Housekeeper runs into Philip, who’s been behind closed doors with a woman who is not his wife

finger porn

finger porn


eyelash porn

eyelash porn


-Housekeeper finds Mother dead


cause of death: reading Dr. Quinn fanfiction


-Phillip calls police

more finger porn

more finger porn


-Jacko suspected of murder, yet he seems unconcerned. trusts his alibi of Hitchhiking, claiming he can describe the driver. gets arrested anyway

house porn

house porn


*Two Years Later*

-Gwenda the secretary writes to Miss Marple, inviting her to a wedding (her and the bossman are getting married). Gwenda is glad to have Marple with her because the family doesn’t like her

shlemiel, schlemazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!

shlemiel, schlemazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!


-Philip is now in a wheelchair

*sad panda*

*sad panda*


-family plays charades together, Phillip makes a correct guess

“Phillip has smiled. this is truly a momentous day!”



-a rambling Professor shows up with an alibi for Jacko. too bad he’s already been executed…



*Break for Backstory* 

Mother adopted a bunch of kids. she tried to make it a happy family, but she was more indulgent than loving. the family’s oldest daughter married Phillip, who was a pilot but now suffers from Polio.Bobby (the good son) & Jacko (the bad son) are twins. Hester seems a bit simple minded and possibly unstable. Tina is the youngest, a bit wild, and especially close with her brother Micky

Angsty porn

Angsty porn


*Break over*

-Philip cynically asks which one of the children killed their mother

dinner conversation Fail

dinner conversation Fail


-Wife takes Phillip back to their house. he taunts her and says he always knew she was capable of killing

wet forelock porn

wet forelock porn


*Information Drop*

Housekeeper tells Miss Marple that Jacko had a secret wife. she came looking for money from the family while he was in jail. she said she knows Jacko committed the murder because he was found with the stolen money.

Bobby tells Miss Marple that he & sis visited Jacko while he was in jail. Bobby lamented that he should have been more like his brother. taking the blame for the murder was the best thing Jacko ever did.

Hester tells Prof that Mom & Brother’s death was a good thing

me, wondering WTF is going on!

me, wondering WTF is happening.


-an Inspector is brought in to question everyone. Phillip smirks when his wife doesn’t mention him being with another woman during the night in question

slightly greasy forelock porn

slightly greasy forelock porn


-Housekeeper is overheard discussing Gwen’s motive with Husband/Father. she says Gwen had a fight with the Mother because she wanted the house & money. Tina suggests that it was Gwen as well. Micky tells Prof that Bobby is the good son.Miss Marple influences the Inspector

good to know I'm not the only one who is lost

good to know someone knows what’s going on!


-Gwen searches for evidence in Mother’s room and finds a business card. Mom was having Phillip investigated, she suspected he was only married for the money. Mother had list with names of other women connected to Phillip

ohhh, Fuuudddge

ohhh, Fuuudddge


-Prof is now convinced that Phillip is guilty and tells Gwen. they find Jacko’s wife to question her. she said he made a habit of conning older women out of their money

how would one go about doing that? asking for a friend...

how does one go about doing that? asking for a friend…


-Bobby won’t hand over control of his sister’s money, which makes Phillip angry(er)



-a neighbor boy says Tina’s motorbike was at the house the night of the murder. Tina is questioned about the discrepancy, Mickey flips out. Dad is trying to stay positive through it all but Housekeeper is trying to turn all of the children against Gwen. she says Mother gave Phillip an ultimatum to leave, but wife doesn’t believe it.

if you love him, be proud of him, 'cause after all he's just a man...

if you love him, be proud of him, ’cause after all he’s just a man


-Dad breaks up with Gwen, asks her to leave. Bobby contemplates suicide. Phillip searches through papers in the Study…and someone kills Gwen.

-Police find weapon, arrest Dad. Miss Marple finds wheel tracks in Study. Phillip talks privately with Hester saying, “they mights be onto us”. wife sees



-Prof finds out Jacko did not con older women out of their money. their pants, on the other hand…




-Phillip argues with Bobby about money. Bobby drops a case filled with family silver, runs away.Prof finds Hester, seems suicidal, Bobby won’t help him calm her down. Bobby leaves in a rowboat instead and throws himself in the lake. he drowns.

that's a clue

I feel a monologue coming


-Miss Marple tells everyone that Bobby was involved in fraud and was about to be caught. Hester was the girl Phillip had an affair with. Mickey and Tina fell in love, Mother knew and was protecting them. meanwhile, Housekeeper was in love with Jacko. he told her to kill Mother

*Plot Twist*

*Plot Twist*

-Housekeeper let Jacko die in prison because he didn’t tell her he was married

Every cliche about hired help

Every cliche about hired help




Bonus Pic because: connections

"Star Wars" alums, Ewan McGregor & Uncle Denis

Ewan McGregor & Uncle Denis



Filed under Film