Canting Dragon, Crouching Spiders

My plans for seeing The Desolation of Smaug opening weekend fell through, so I was determined to see it yesterday; nothing was going to stand in my way!

N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

maybe you should tame that hair a bit first, just a suggestion

“I hope you’re not still sick, Son, because I’m going to push you out the door and force you to go to school

I’m going, Mom! I’m going!

in order to teach you a valuable life lesson: never stand in the way of a fangirl.”

I ended up seeing the 3D/48FPS version, just because it had the earliest start time (I had to be back before Daughter got home from school)

send me the bill, I need to get home!

Confession: I’ve never seen a cinema movie in 3D before; I’ve only ever seen the ones they show at museums and amusement parks. While I enjoyed the experience, I think I’ll bypass the 3D next time. It enhanced the fantasy setting and made the fictional characters look more real, but almost too real.

need some gravy for those sausage fingers?

I enjoy fiction because it’s not real. Visually, it sometimes seemed like I was watching an elaborate Soap Opera.

It’s true: Thorin and Thranduil were twins, separated at birth

The storyline itself I liked, especially once we met Bard the Bargeman.

when I said, “let’s use the toilet and leave” that’s not what I had in mind!

Quite a few fans did not like the deviations from the book but it seemed to me like the writers were already appeasing by including the must have scenes that they did. I could have done without the spiders, for instance, or Beorn’s house (though Beorn himself was awesome) if it meant the flow would have been as smooth as it was from Laketown on into the Mountain.

I might be slightly biased

A Hobbit fanfiction instead of the original Tolkien Hobbit? That’s perfectly fine with me; I love fanfiction!

So in my fanfiction movie adaptation, I would keep the Prancing Pony scene at the beginning but then jump straight to getting the dwarves lost in Mirkwood and captured by the Wood Elves. That way I could spend more time showing the dwarves as prisoners, losing hope, and feeling locked away like animals.

yes, exactly like that…

I would also set up more of the love story between Tauriel and Kili. This could be my missing Eowyn and Faramir romance from the LOTR, seeing as how it was totally overshadowed by Aragorn and Arwen.

“I could have anything down my trousers”

I’d get rid of the Orc storyline as well; battling the elements of Mirkwood while feeling the pressure of Durin’s Day fastly approaching, would create sufficient tension. Keep the spiders if more action is needed but for the love of Cod, leave out Legolas! He was so unnecessary and borderline annoying. Tauriel going against the Elven King to follow her heart and fighting that inner turmoil of loyalty, would have been enough conflict without using a love triangle.

#prettierthanyou

I loved Laketown and the Dragon scenes, so I wouldn’t change any of them. I found the added action with the Dragon enjoyable and exciting!

The scene with the key at the secret doorway was probably my all around favorite of the movie. Anticipation, frustration, the dashing of hopes and then relief; roller-coaster emotions at it’s finest! I felt that Thorin’s hesitance to rush in to rescue Bilbo though was not solely due to dragon sickness, I think it was PTSD too.

“memories, pressed between the pages of my mind”

All in all, the movie exceeded my expectations and I’m very excited to see it again with my family. One last thing: did anyone feel the cross-over potential during the confrontation between Thorin and Smaug?

“KHAN!!”

A Vicar of Dibley/Star Trek/Hobbit fanfic?

it could work…

*the Dragon planned to outwit the Vicar in order to get his people back, but he never expected to fall in love with his foe*