I Need You To Need Me

Ever since dolphen3 posted the video on YouTube of Richard in Sparkhouse, I’ve been watching it nonstop! (it’s very nicely edited, condensed like a small movie)

Shh! this is the part where I call you a dickhead

It makes it so easy to focus on the parts of the story that I’m interested in (John) and leave out all the rest (Andrew). The entire story does need to be watched occasionally though, for context.

over-the-top? possibly. unwarranted? no.

I talk about John Standring quite a bit around here, so this time I’m going to talk about Carol. To put it simply: I like her.

Carol stops her plea to ask where they’re going, John says “I’ve run out of milk”. so practical, those two!

I don’t see her as the cold, unsuited match for John that others sometimes see. She was a jerk to John in the beginning, using him during her break-up with Andrew, but adult Carol has grown up quite a bit and seems to have her head on much straighter.

well, maybe except for those lingering grudges.

Carol’s friendship with John is very easy going, they understand each other. She and Lisa bring out the playful, down-to-earth side of him. John never questioned the plausibility of that “banana imports” routine that Carol tried to hide behind when she first rolled back into town, nor did he disapprove when it was found to be a ruse.

why did the banana go out with the prune? because she couldn’t find a date

When Andrew throws a wrench into things and Carol has to reassure John of her intentions, what she says is quite sincere:

” Yea, I do [still think about Andrew]. Thing is, don’t just go away, does it? stuff like that. Part of me probably will always think about him […] I want to think about this, about us. I want to think about Farm and all the things we’re gonna do to it.”

I do not doubt what she says, she really does want to move forward with John and share the work of the farm with him. Maybe she doesn’t feel for him romantically at that point but she does genuinely care for him, and so she wants to give him the parts of herself that he needs.

“you want to help me & in return I can give you things. that is not prostitution” well, actually Carol…

Events happen and the story ends on a cliffhanger. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that Carol picks herself up and gets back on track with John. This set back will not keep her down for long; she’s survived so much already, what is this really in comparison?

I like Carol. Her and I would probably be friends.

and I don’t have a dog, so it’s all good!

13 thoughts on “I Need You To Need Me

  1. That was a great video tip! I never realized that RA was in Sparkhouse for more than 40 minutes. It never seemed enough, anyway 😉 Not so sure about Carol, though – her attitude towards Standring remains ambivalent until the end. I’d love a happy end for them, but…


    1. Carol is dealing with a lot internally: coming back to town and feeling like she has to save face, wresting with all of the bitterness she feels towards her father(which isn’t helped by the debt of the falling down farm that he’s saddled her with), being pissed at Andrew while getting drawn back in with his charm at the same time(“charm” is in the eye of the beholder), the weight of responsibility for trying to give Lisa a good life, etc. and John is the one person she can trust completely, the one person she can count on to just let her be whoever she is going to be. there’s an easiness there between them that I find comforting, for both of them. Carol and John need to be needed, in different ways, and they can give that to each other. would I wish better for John? I wish Carol could be a bit softer with him, I wish that she would want him instead of just needing him, but those things may come in time; she has issues stemming from the history with her father, after all :/ John is so patient and understanding, I see them as a good match for each other, yin and yang


  2. I’ve never thought of Carol as cold and unfeeling. I have never understood why people think that. Do they not watch the parts without RA to see her brutalized by her father?


    1. I think they compare Carol to John but they are just two opposites, on the outside anyway. he is mellow, and understanding, adorkable and just plain nice. while Carol is straightforward, has all kinds of emotional walls up, and just generally unapproachable. they want someone to outwardly nurture John, to drown him in kisses or something, while Carol should be with her own kind- Ricky Deeming maybe? 😛 but from what I know of men like John, while it’s nice to be looked after, they feel suffocated very easily. John doesn’t need a mother, he’s been taking care of himself for years and is used to doing his own thing, above all he needs space and quiet. Carol fends for herself rather well and would not be all “you spend too much time with those damn sheep, you never see me”, etc. they are two very practical people so I think they really just need companionship. anyone who runs a working farm is not going to have a whole lot of time for anything more, anyway

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Carol and Ricky Deeming would be a bad match. He’s a rebel with a cause. She’s a messed up incest survivor.


        1. yes, but people are only looking on the outside when they say Carol is cold and not a good match for John, so two rebels should be the perfect match! 😛


          1. I would assume some people see her as such b/c she doesn’t follow the rules, does her own thing and tells people off at the drop of a hat. there are intellectual rebels (like Ricky, that actually have a cause) and then there are those who just don’t want to be told what to do.


          2. I don’t even consider that she doesn’t want to be told what to do consciously. She’s acting out, projecting her pain outwards.


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