I’d Do Anything for Love(but I won’t do that)

Last night I had a dream that my parents and I, while on vacation somewhere in the southwest, found ourselves eating in the same little run-down restaurant as Clint Eastwood. He was sitting in a booth across the deserted dusty room.

should I tell him that this is a non-smoking establishment?

My Dad, completely out of character, went into fanboy mode and was bursting at the seams to go over and talk to Clint. When he came back to our table, he brought with him several small bowls of food. Apparently in my dreamworld one did not get autographs from the celebrities they admired but rather food from their plates… plates they have been eating from.

now that’s just unsanitary!

My Dad had a sample of the salsa Mr.Eastwood was enjoying and my Mom had some of his drink, while I was lucky enough to get a scoop of his mashed potatoes. The same mashed potatoes that he was currently licking off his fork.

thanks for the offer but I can chew my own food

What was I supposed to do with his food, treasure it? Freeze it, only bringing it out on special occasions? I like Mr. Eastwood and all but I was at a loss. My Dad, getting embarrassed and annoyed with me because Clint was watching from across the room, told me I was supposed to eat it. So I mixed it around with my fork and took a bite, smiling and waving to Clint, while trying not to cringe at the thought that I was eating his saliva.

oh, was that a piece of tortilla chip too? yummy!

Richard, if I ever meet you while dining out, just acknowledging that I exist will be fine. Maybe even a handshake or hug if I’m really lucky, but please don’t make me eat after you. That is where I draw the line.

we shall see. we shall see…

Advertisements

36 thoughts on “I’d Do Anything for Love(but I won’t do that)

  1. Servetus says:

    It’s amazing, the things that get saved from close encounters. I was in a museum in Bavaria (one of the castles associated with Ludwig II) in the mid-1990s, and they displayed a piece of bread from some eastern European embassy that had visited him. Note — he died in 1886!

    Like

      • Servetus says:

        yeah, it looked like bread. I don’t know how they preserve it. But I guess it’s not hard — about ten years after that I saw an exhibit in Berlin where they were displaying “examples” of “bread substitutes” (developed to make the food stretch further on the home front) from their archives. In a case like that maybe there’s not much organic material left in the bread — b/c you’d think it would attract bugs.

        oh, and come to think of it — in 2006 I saw an ox head that was left over from the coronation of some Holy Roman Emperor in Frankfurt. They slaughtered an ox at the party, traditionally — I guess when they were done eating the flesh off of it they picked it clean and also put that in their archives.

        Like

        • this is reminding me of the tradition of saving part of your wedding cake in the freezer for a year and then eating it on your one year anniversary. I always thought that was strange and I refused to do it. I also refused to have my husband smear cake in my face at our reception; I’m a killjoy. but if Richard ate an ox head with my family and I, who wouldn’t want to archive that? 😀

          Like

          • Servetus says:

            how long has the smearing cake thing even been around? That’s something people didn’t do around here when I was a kid. I am totally on your side on both of those. But yeah, I suspect if Richard Armitage were for some strange reason here at the homestead, we might preserve everything he touched. I remember seeing a bar of soap that Abraham Lincoln was supposed to have used, when my family visited Springfield IL in the late 70s. We’d totally keep something like that 🙂

            Like

          • my family and I picking an ox head clean, that needs to be preserved all on it’s own, with or without Richard! (it wouldn’t happen. I like meat but if I’m in any way reminded that it’s actually an animal that I am eating, I’m done :/ ) soap I’d probably pass on but I might consider keeping the hand-towel.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Helen says:

            The tradition in the uk is to keep the top layer of the wedding cake for the first Christening… And as it is heavy fruitcake with loads of brandy in it, iced with marzipan and then royal icing, it keeps for ever 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          • Cill says:

            Smearing the wedding cake in someone’s face always struck me as a weird and kind of nasty thing to do. It’s not really done outside North America I don’t think, and maybe not even everywhere there.

            Like

  2. Helen says:

    Thinking about this, Kelbel, I wouldn’t mind sharing Lucas’ doughnut… Or perhaps just licking his fingers 😉

    OK, I’ll get my coat 🙂

    Like

    • taking a bite of something solid after him isn’t quite so bad; with something like mashed potatoes there is greater potential for ingesting already chewed food *ick* licking fingers (and thumbs!) though is a whole different story 😈

      Like

  3. SH says:

    This is hilarious! The things we dream about…. though I almost never remember mine, and even then only for a few minutes. And yes, I think kissing the sugar off his fingers works! But not chewing his food for him (your gifs are priceless as usual).

    Like

      • SH says:

        Hmmm…. since we’re wading into deep hypothetical here 😛 but why not…. I have no problem giving my family / buds a bite of my food, and also no problem asking for a bite of theirs……but the mama bird thing – I agree, I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that! Was that Alicia Silverstone a few years ago (or someone else?) who pre-chewed her toddler’s food?

        Like

        • I generally don’t mind sharing food either but dream me was really disgusted. how about this one: if Richard were chewing gum and then stuck it underneath the table, would you pry it off after he left & save it? would you re-chew it? (I’m making myself sick, I need to stop 😯 )

          Like

          • You literally have me laughing out loud at my computer. My dog thinks I’ve gone mad. Great post! I enjoyed your caps, gifs and most of all your comments 🙂

            I too refused to do the cake in the face thing. I froze the top of my cake because someone insisted (mother-in-law I think.) I ended up throwing it out.

            Like

          • SH says:

            You’re killing me here 😀 😀 😀 – where’s the hidden cam, is this actually RA Confessions?? 😀

            Rechew – never, nope, nada! (OK, to save a human life, maybe! Be serious!) BUT – OK – Ancestry.com has made me obsessed with DNA – I WOULD be SO tempted to wrap up a piece of it to see if he could be part of my or my DH’s tree – or even RIII’s! Let none of you judge me!
            (But since I can’t imagine him sticking gum under a table, I think his genes are safe 😉

            Your turn to answer, Kelbel (& whoever else might feel compelled),
            cough up (pun intended)! 😀

            Like

          • I was going to mention a used napkin but then I thought of Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon wanting to clone Spock from his DNA, so I thought I shouldn’t put any ideas out there 😉 my answer: I would not re-chew (OMG! seriously?!) anyone’s old gum OR save it, Richard or no.

            okay, next question: if Richard had left the restaurant but his table had not been cleaned yet, would you take a sip from his glass just to see what he was drinking?

            Like

          • SH says:

            No, I wouldn’t be tempted to do that at all…. you?
            (I do love Sheldon, but I’ll leave the cloning to him.)

            Like

          • not for a drink but possibly for a piece of cake or cookie. I need to know what kinds of things he likes/dislikes, to see if we’re the same…I’m guessing he has a much more distinguished palette than I do though; I live on sugar and preservatives 😛

            Like

          • SH says:

            That makes sense on a certain level, though I sometimes get things in restaurants that I end up not crazy about, so depends on whether he’s more like my son and me (who try different things), or like my husband, who heads straight for the tried-true steak, salmon, or burger. Think I read somewhere that RA likes steak tartare…!

            Like

          • yes, the steak tartare thing stuck in my memory too *cringes* I have a weird thing about texture, if it doesn’t feel good in my mouth, then it’s a no go for me. I do not like raw meat, if I see more than a light shading of pink, I will not eat it. so completely raw? no way!! 😯

            Like

      • SH says:

        I know, I was afraid you would freak out…..& be afraid I was coming to check your trash for used napkins or something. The WordPress reply function usually only gets wonky for me visually on IE, never on Chrome (which I’m on now) – and weird autofill is something entirely new (hopefully over). Glad you could fix it 🙂

        Like

  4. Richard, I DO have manners, I swear! and I won’t eat your food scraps after you leave either, I’m just teasing. your bunnsss are fair game though… (someone please take the key-board away, I’m begging you.)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. SH says:

    I grew up with Mom cooking steak till it was dead, I didn’t know you could have it any other way – I now prefer medium as in warm pink center, not red. In this country, I would be afraid to eat raw beef – but the EU seems more conscientious about a lot of dietary things than the FDA here, so to each his own I guess.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s