Accentuate the Positive

This blog is generally a lighthearted space, a place to smile and  laugh while discussing Richard’s fictional characters as well as his warm, personal character too.  I try to put a positive spin on things when I can but I don’t like to devalue anyone’s opinions; we all fangirl in different ways because we are different people. Some of us are serious minded, while others are more playful. Some of us are optimists while others are pessimists. Some of us would rather remain blissful while others need to find the truth. I like to think that most of us are a little bit of all of those things, we just tend to openly show certain traits more than others. Luckily there are different venues with different tones in this fandom, so that everyone can find what best fits them- on any given day. Some fandoms only have one news source, one fan forum, one blog and that’s it. We have several of each. And we have something else that’s rare too: the person our fandom is built around actually acknowledges us, communicates with us, cares about us. 



All of the above are good things, I think. Not everyone agrees with that all of the time. I could bring out my soap-box and share my displeasure about the recent negativity directed at Marlise Boland, just like I could have on any of the other occasions that bloggers, commenters, or forum members have crossed the line in what I feel is appropriate or polite behavior. But I realize that my line is not everyone’s, it’s mine. So I try to reign in my anger and disappointment and remind myself of the rule that I’ve chosen to live by:  treat others as you would like to be treated. I’m not always successful at that. Sometimes I get crabby, sometimes I think I know what is best, sometimes I want others to bear the brunt of  my hurts for me. It’s part of being human. 


Instead of taking an eye for an eye, I’ll be choosing kindness. Instead of fighting with negativity, I’ll choose to counteract the fighting with positivity. I’d rather bring attention to what I like, not monologue about all the things that I don’t. Blogging is monologuing but if you’re going to listen to anything that I say, I hope it’s the positive that sticks with you, not the negative. I suspect we have enough negative in our lives already, that’s why we’re here. So instead of wagging my finger and voicing what I think we are doing wrong in this fandom (on all sides), I’ll choose to accentuate the positive instead.



accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between

You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium’s
Liable to walk upon the scene


brown suede jacket against eroding wall


What will you choose?


10 thoughts on “Accentuate the Positive

  1. Well said! There are so many negative things around me right now (in my country) that I can’t change; and I’m trying hard to be positive, keep my spirit up and not dwell on negative thoughts. And being RA fan gives my life so many joyful and positive moments so I stick to this side of things. Thank you for the cheerful words! Joy to world! It’s about time. (Sorry for my English 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. it’s so easy to get sucked into disagreements that are not really meant for us. sometimes I feel very strongly that I need to say something about one point being argued. that automatically places me on a “side” and I find myself defending a whole side instead of the single point I started out with. it’s stressful and confusing and only ends up making me feel really awful 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the way you have expressed your thoughts . They have been framed in the nicest way and I agree with what you have said. There is room for all opinions but we must remember the human element of being kind. We all love that gorgeous fella after all. Thank you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry to take 2 days to weigh in, but I vented myself on another blog and had to recharge 😉
    All I can say now is ‘This fandom!’ ;-|
    Why does everything have to become inter-fan drama? Why can’t people just be happy that there’s a new interview that not 30 seconds long and stilted, instead of analyzing the crap out of everything?


    1. some people find analyzing fun, I have no problem with that. spreading negativity about a person, by name, just to prove a point- at the cost of not only friendliness within our fandom but with the person it’s built around? no thank you, I want no part of that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let’s face it, Kelly, there are drama queens among us and sometimes it is better to just ignore them…like ex-husbands. I saw a post on FB where someone referred to RA’s Mom and was promptly attacked that RA was a good English lad and the word is Mum…seriously?!?!? I didn’t understand the criticism of Marlise, questioning whether she was a journalist or a fan. Can’t she be both? She obviously adores RA. I’ve never thought of her as an unbiased journalist. She is the voice of The Anglophile Channel which means she’s already biased and she loves her subject(s) unreservedly. Want unbiased reporting? Sorry, folks, that went the way of the dodo when soundbite journalism became the norm (used to be called yellow journalism). I really enjoy your blog. Wish you will in the competition for the blog award. AND am looking forward to reasons 4-55 British Men are Gorgeous (I’m gently trying to keep you focused). Merry Christmas and God bless you in the coming year.


        1. I say we should just ignore the drama but then I don’t, do I? blah. I just think “maybe I can make them see reason. maybe I can at least encourage them to be nice to each other while arguing” I’m delusional 🙄
          I have several blog posts planned for after my relatives leave, including continuing the “55 reasons British men are gorgeous” series 😉 thank you for the well wishes and I hope to converse with you often in the coming year ❤


      2. I have no problem with analysis (ceramic analysis, X-ray fluorescence, C14, aDNA analyses 😉 ) but there is a difference between analyzing something and analyzing the crap out of it. And by that I mean picking apart every detail, over and over, and always drawing negative inferences. Some things are just what they are, you know. Some things are just meant to be enjoyed. Even Sigmund Freud admitted it: sometimes a cigar really *is* just a cigar.


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