Subconsciously Speaking

While cleaning out my drafts folder the other day, I found a few dreams about Richard that I had written down but never shared. and since all dreams of Richard should be shared, I give you ‘3 dreams of Richard Armitage’.

 

dream no. 1

Richard was my neighbor for the summer.

you kids get off my lawn!

he lived in a duplex down the street, while he was in the area filming. it was a residential community and practically the whole block was milling about at a fellow neighbor’s yard sale that day. I started walking back home with some others, Richard trailing not far behind. my grandmother lived across the street, and she was outside struggling with something that she was putting out on the curb for pick-up day. Richard stopped to help her and she kept commenting on how young and fit he was, squeezing his biceps in the process. then he bent over and well,

Grandma!!

I was laughing so hard I almost fell down in the street! Richard heard me cackling, which caused him to start laughing as well. he finished up with Grandma, while I tried to compose myself, and then the two of us continued to walk along together. we were talking intently about the novel he was currently filming an adaptation of, as we arrived at his door. he touched my bare shoulder in response to something I had said and then left his hand there, kind of moving it around in a soothing flirty way.

*unf*

as he pulled away to unlock his door, the college student next door who was visiting on an exchange program, appeared and fought for my attention. I had no idea what she was saying but it seemed like she wanted to show me something. I looked at Richard with pleading eyes (he knew how enthusiastic this girl could be) but he just smiled and said to come over when she was finished with me. then we kind of just goofily smiled at each other, before the girl was able to pull me forcefully from the spot and through her door.

the rest of the dream was me trying to get back to Richard while the girl kept dragging me to and fro around her house, showing me things and forcing me to engage in polite conversation with her roommates. Richard freaking Armitage is waiting for me next door, I do not care about your shower curtain!

 

dream no. 2

I was a teacher and taking my students on our first field trip to a local wildlife refuge area. Christian Bale and his family lived on the property.

one of the students got lost, but the more we pieced things together it seemed like she might have actually been taken by someone. great, my first outing and one of my students gets kidnapped!

so inconvenient

I went to Christian’s house to ask for his help, thinking he would know some of the out-of-the-way places that we hadn’t checked yet. he was very helpful and ended up finding the missing little girl. after the whole ordeal was over and I was leaving his house (all the kids had been picked up by their parents at this point) I encountered Richard, digging a trench in the backyard.

Mr. DIY, at your service!

he was installing drain pipe, as a favor to Christian. I didn’t even know that he knew Christian. Richard and I were really good friends, but had been avoiding each other since the day I boldly declared my love for him and tried to kiss him. what followed was some awesome dialogue, that probably wasn’t so very awesome but dream me thinks it was and real me can’t remember much of it, so we’ll just pretend that it was Oscar worthy.

I do remember that Richard asked me to further explain my feelings for him. things got really sappy as I proceeded to tell him everything I admired about him (kind of like I do on this blog…) then I asked him how he felt about me in return, to which he answered with a heartfelt ‘When Harry Met Sally type of speech’, “I love that you’re the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night” etc.

then why the hell have we been avoiding each other?! I went off on a little rant then, which was abruptly stopped by Richard kissing me. we pulled back and looked at each other, surprised, then I attacked him! with tongue and teeth and everything else, until I knocked him flat on his back in the dirt.

I’m passionate about Richard

 

dream no. 3 

the dream opens with me running into a guy named Trevor, in the town square. we got to talking about a dinner party that my landlady was set to host that evening and Trevor was chiding me to just get over myself and attend, for once. I had a push-pull kind of relationship with my landlady. sometimes we got along well, while other times I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with her. I had never attended the dinner parties that she routinely hosted for her society friends because I thought they were snooty and boring, so I lied and said I had other plans.

sorry, I can’t tonight. I have to objectify male celebrities online

I told Trevor I knew I was acting like a putz and I should probably just swallow my pride and get with the program. I was very lonely, living in a new town far from home, but wanted to appear like I had it all together and that nothing affected me. it had gone on long enough though, and I was ready to bite the bullet and attend. this pleased Trevor, not only because I would finally be attending one of the parties but also because there was someone he wanted to try and set me up with but didn’t have a place for us to meet in a no-pressure setting. Trevor was a hopeless romantic and it seemed to really bother him that I wasn’t dating. it’s not that I didn’t want to date, I was just kind of bad at it.

when I got back to the house, I decided to peek into the back windows by the kitchen to see if I could spot LL(landlady). I still needed to psych myself up for attending the party, get in the right headspace, but if I ran into LL then she’d want me to help prepare for the party and I wouldn’t have any time to myself beforehand. I was on the back deck and if I tried to turn around now and enter the house a different way, she would see me. so I decided to quit being a basket case and just go in. painful small talk ensued wherein I complimented her outfit, which was dressier than usual. she said Trevor was inviting someone to the party that he hoped he could fix her up with. well, that was odd, didn’t he tell me that I was the one he hoped this man would hit it off with? LL was only a few years older than me, but we would not attract the same type of men. I was standing there in jeans, a white t-shirt and black leather jacket, after all.

Ricky approves!

the party had begun and a few of the guests were there already. I was feeling very out of place and was wondering when Trevor would show up. the guests were nice enough, but so not my crowd. the doorbell rang and since LL was in the middle of telling a story, I went to answer it for her. on the other side of the door was Richard, and we had a “moment” as I opened the door and invited him inside.

you had me at Hello

who was this handsome man and how the heck did he know my pretentious landlady?! when I introduced myself he laughed and said he was confused because I was not how Trevor described the host of the party. oh, okay, this was Trevor’s friend. so he was going to chum up to LL then? odd choice of Trevor, and a bummer for me because I really found him attractive. he seemed more my kind of people, maybe Trevor was trying to get her out of her comfort zone? 

we moved into the party and I introduced him to everyone. while he was talking to LL, I slipped into the kitchen to put his food offering with the others. I was alone, when Trevor patted my shoulder to get my attention. he asked me what I thought of Richard and why I had left him out there looking all forlorn. what? I said I liked Richard fine, better than fine, but he was here for LL. that sent Trevor into a laughing fit which ended with him chastising me, asking what kind of matchmaker I thought he was. I was very confused now! Trevor explained that he had invited a different man for LL but he had to cancel. when Trevor found out I was actually coming tonight, he invited Richard. I peeked out into the sitting room and saw LL flirting with Richard, hand on his thigh, and he trying to remain polite and interested in what she was saying. Richard saw Trevor and I peeking and raised his eyebrows, I held up my finger for “one minute” and ducked back behind the wall with Trevor. I slapped Trevor and said LL thinks Richard is here for her! he said he’d straighten it out, in the meantime I should go rescue Richard.

don’t make any sudden moves!

the rest of the party had Richard and I sticking to each other like glue, whether it be beside each other sitting on the sofa or standing around the kitchen island, we were chatting up a storm. Trevor had straightened out LL in regards to the matchmaking mix-up but she was not to be deterred, she was attracted to Richard and was miffed that he seemed to be smitten with me. so while were were trying to stay engaged in the general conversation with her other guests, she started taunting me and trying to make me look bad in front of everyone. teasing me about some of the social faux pas I had made when I first moved in and casually mentioning conversations we had where I didn’t know who the state senator was or how to pronounce local street names, etc. the climax was when she mentioned that I didn’t have a career but had decided to wander like a vagrant instead. ouch. I tried to politely excuse myself and retreated to the kitchen, then outside on the deck before I cried in front of everyone.

it’s pronounced,  Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch!

I was sitting on the floor of the deck, in my bare feet. Richard sat down beside me and gently put his hand on my shoulder, rubbing and squeezing a bit to try and comfort me. I raised my head and looked at him. I finally found someone who I could feel comfortable with and she tried to sabotage it! he seemed to read my thoughts as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear saying, “two strangers in a strange land, that’s you and me. I’m so glad I met you tonight”

this started up a conversation about his time there, me guessing where he grew up from his accent, and what I was doing here (LL wasn’t far off the mark with her wandering statement) others started trickling out onto the deck, so we got up off the ground and moved to some chairs. the other guests were being a lot nicer to me then they were before, smiling softly when they saw how attentive Richard was being to me, as we shared a bowl of his homemade pudding.

no caption needed

after most of the guests had left and a few were still lingering, LL finally came out, strode over to me, and asked for my house key. she was kicking me out? everyone was stunned. Trevor’s eyes were wider than anyone’s! I incredulously asked what was going on and she said I had over stayed my welcome. oh no. I have nowhere to go, not enough money to stay on my own! Trevor said I could stay on his couch until I figured something out (he lived with his partner in a studio flat, not ideal) I numbly nodded my head. Richard had been very quiet throughout the confrontation and I was afraid to look at him, feeling embarrassed and lost all over again. when I did look though, he was seething! gone was the polite gentleman and in his place was my fierce protector.

oh, the bitchface! shit just got real

he ushered me away, telling Trevor that I was going to stay in his spare room. as he continued to rant to Trevor about LL’s behavior, I was just standing there in my bare feet, starting to shake from shock. Richard picked my shoes up off the ground and handed them to me as he placed his suit jacket around my shoulders. when we had walked around the front of the house, Richard stopped and asked if I was going to put my shoes on to cross the road to his car. I blinked away the shock and gently teased that he had to follow the knight in shining armor routine clear to the end, and carry me to his steed. he laughed and blushed a little, then swept me up into his arms. I gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and internally swooned my hero.

The End.