I Must Bide

A new year is upon us, I’m approaching the 100th post on this blog, and my fan path category has come to an end as well; so many opportunities for new beginnings!

2014? yes, please!
2014? yes, please!

When I first started this blog in May of this year, I jotted down a brief outline of the direction I wanted to go with it.

*serious and introspective? check*
serious and introspective? check

As things moved along and a certain tone had been established, the outline changed to accommodate.

*serious and introspective? not!*
serious and introspective? not!

In both versions the end was the day I started this blog.

*I will draw it out by only typing with one finger*
I will draw it out by only typing with one finger

I’ve had highs and lows with this blogging endeavor but all in all it’s been a rewarding experience that I’d like to continue. Fandom drama? not so much.

when Richard said there were "sensitive souls" out there, he wasn't kidding...
when Richard said there were “sensitive souls” out there, he wasn’t kidding.

I’ve done some soul-searching these past few weeks regarding the various issues within the fandom and my reactions to them.

"should I stay or should I go?"
“should I stay or should I go?”

My conclusion: I’m not sure I’m cut out for Army life!

me in the comment section of any blog
me in the comment section of any blog

I would still like to read and “like” with abandon but I think I’ll try reverting back to my former lurking ways for awhile.


What will change on this blog in light of this? The posts will no longer be illustrating how I discovered Richard Armitage but rather those parts of the original outline that I might have skipped over, mixed in with more current happenings. so… pretty much the same randomness!

random Richard
random Richard

I’m excited for the year ahead and working towards that 200th post, I hope you’ll continue to join me for the ride.


Live Together, Die Alone

“He’s been lost ever since he left his home. He should not have come, he has no place among us.” ~Thorin Oakenshield

Elijah, oh my god guys gif

That’s what it feels like to be a newer fan in an already established fandom, doesn’t it? Or a new commenter on a blog, fan-forum, or twitter thread. You’ve been reading the posts for a few months, even following along in the comments. You’ve laughed, nodded your head; and often followed the suggestions given of things to view, read, etc. in relation to your shared interest.

So many times you’ve wanted to jump in and add your agreement with an “I feel the same! I thought that too!” or sometimes you’re just bursting at the seams, wanting to defend your favorite character in a discussion….but you don’t. What if they laugh you off the webpage for not being informed enough about the subject? What if they make fun of the way you talk?

nerd girl problems, pronounciation

Or what if they don’t respond to you at all ? “I knew this was a bad idea! They all know each other, they all know so much more about the history of this than I do, I don’t know what I’m doing!

smashing computer smiley gif

“Did I not say that you would be a burden, that you would not survive in the wild and that you have no place amongst us?” ~ Thorin Oakenshield

#feels, crying eye gif

We’ve all been there. Some of us longer than others, some of us more than once.

That was my first twitter contact within the RA fandom, back in April. I couldn’t let MorrighansMuse think she was the only one who liked Sparkhouse, when the others were saying they’d heard horrible things about it; sweet John Standring was worth defending!

keep calm, movie boyfriend

My first contact within the fandom itself was on the forums: my required introductory posts announcing myself. There are usually a few friendly folks on any forum who say Hello, ask what films you’ve seen, and give suggestions on what to watch next. This was an area I tried to became diligent in myself when I was a moderator in a different fandom. The intro threads were a safe place for newbies to fangirl a bit and maybe ask a few questions to someone who cared, without risking the embarrassment of posting in the wrong place or asking a question that everyone already knew the answer to.


We don’t have this safety net on blogs. Here, you’re out in the open for everyone to see. Here, there tends to be a bunch of random comments in no particular order to reply to. That’s scary for a first time commenter!

Penny, throwing and hiding laptop, gif

Maybe you’ve long since moved past that stage and you’re now commenting, tweeting, and posting with abandon. Maybe you’ve been lurking

(that means following along in silence)


for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months. Maybe you’re still at the timid stage described above, and maybe you have no intention of ever engaging at all; that’s okay. Lurking is perfectly acceptable. Just enjoy yourself, that’s what’s important.

prince Wm. and wife battling with wands gif

A lot of these same stages and worries plague bloggers too. Unfortunately, the statistics page can sometimes hinder the situation. “That blogger has 10,000 hits, I only have 5,000. Do people not like me? I only have 10 followers, while they have 300! What am I doing wrong? No one commented on this post, but 30 commented yesterday. Was it too boring?”

We’ve all thought these things at one time or another.

don't panic

I suggest routinely asking yourself this simple but important question: Why do I have a blog?

To have fun. To share your love of a certain subject with like-minded people who will gush with you about it. To help others find all the info they can on a shared subject. Or maybe it’s a more personal blog where the purpose is to better yourself in various ways through writing it all down and receiving suggestions from others that you may have never considered before. There are various reasons why someone may have a blog.

Hopefully the answer to that question is not: To be the best. To be the most liked. To be the leader.

Those reasons would be unhealthy, and just suck the fun straight out of it! So with that in mind, maybe we shouldn’t give those statistics quite so much weight…

Sherlock #you've killed my brain, gif

If you’re a blogger who is trying to make a name for yourself on a professional level or you’re trying to make money using your blog, then disregard that last bit. I’m talking about fandom, not business.

An example of how stats can be deceiving: a big portion of that “follower” number over there in my sidebar is made up of bloggers who are not Richard Armitage related. They’re either networking (I’ve checked them out, and actually follow some) or they are professional bloggers who want me to buy something. Don’t put your faith in numbers.

inconceivable! gif

“I like the fact that there’s a community out there getting together and enjoying themselves because of something I’ve done.”

~ Richard Armitage

The community aspect of fandom can be a very rewarding experience. Friendships are formed, both virtual and real life, encouragement and support are offered when needed, sounding boards to discuss new ideas are provided; these can all stem from talking about a beloved character, book, actor, or band.

There is discord in every community though. It is essentially a small town, after all. So you will hear gossip when you stop into the Post Office to pick up your mail. There might be arguments about how you were over-charged at the gas station because you used to date the owner’s son’s best friend. Maybe your cousin’s girlfriend never tips you and runs up his bar tab…that doesn’t mean you should spit in her food and slash her car tires.

cat fight- dog breaks it up- gif

Hopefully the only drama that will touch you is from your Saturday morning coffee date with friends that sometimes gets heated when you debate sugar vs. artificial sweetener, or gluten-free diets. This is normal.

perfect conditions

Just as in regular life though, you are responsible for your own actions, Your own words, your own issues. If you don’t want to know the gossip, don’t linger when you pick up your mail. If you feel you’re being treated unfairly at the gas station, go to a different one instead. If your cousin’s girlfriend irritates you so much, go into the kitchen and throw a few eggs at the wall after she leaves!

Sherlock- psychopath

And remind yourself during those sugar/gluten debates that these people are your friends. You meet them every Saturday because, aside from your dietary differences, you enjoy their company.

cat hugs lizard gif


Now before I wrap up this little missive, I’d like to touch upon something that can become a stressful part of fandom, when it really doesn’t have to be. This may seem like a no-brainer, but really stop and give it some thought:

Richard Armitage is not our puppet.


He is a living, breathing human being. A grown man who lives his own life and makes his own decisions… so relax, and let Richard take care of Richard.

You’re all shaking your heads in the affirmative, saying “Yes, we know this. We have nothing but respect for him and we’ll support him in what ever he chooses to do.”

Then let’s get off his proverbial back about his upcoming projects, okay? This fear for his career does not need to consume us. The responsibility of providing us with conversation topics and visual stimulation should not rest on anyone’s shoulders but our own. That’s not to say we can’t speculate about what will come next or what we would/would not want to see. But it will happen when it happens.

Let him surprise us

it was you the entire time, gif

It is his life, his career, his financial and emotional stability. While it’s only our hobby…and that’s my two cents. peace out,

DJ kitty, gif


Wee Bonnie Boat

I was part of a discussion this past week that loosely touched upon a popular element of fandom: Shipping.

use UPS, to get it there overnight!

Shipping is when one has a fondness for a specific romantic pairing, either in regards to fictional characters or real life people.

*insert choice here*
*insert choice here*

Unfortunately sides are often taken where shipping is concerned- either in opposition to the pairing itself, or just the practice in general.




I was made aware of some negative murmurings that were the result of my conversation, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to clarify a few things:

but you're brothers! I know your mother taught you better than that..
but you’re brothers! I know your mother taught you better than that

In regards to Fan-Fiction:

It’s fiction, anything is possible.

listen to the lady, Thornton. anything.

We all have our preferences in ships, styles, etc. but just because some may not share our preferences, we should not automatically assume that they will then prevent us from enjoying them.

In regards to Real Life pairings:

I’m aware that there are those who feel that since a celebrity is far removed from our everyday realities, then that is akin to fiction and so the same sentiments apply. I do not agree with that, but again, my views do not automatically cancel out anyone’s preference for those Real Life pairings; whether they be fact or just hopeful suspicions.

I’d ship this. if I was into that sort of thing.

Sometimes these two different areas of shipping merge into the form of

Real Person Fiction:

This is when a fan-fiction story is written involving Real Life people as characters in a fictional setting. I’ve read a few RPF in my time but didn’t care for them, for various reasons.

I don't want to know
do I really want to know what put that look on his face?

I realize that others enjoy these stories though, so I won’t try to prevent them from reading what they prefer.

I’m sensing a theme here

If someone does not feel the same as I do in regards to shipping or fan-fiction, this does not mean that lines need to be automatically drawn.

so that's "no" to Alan, then?
so that’s a no to Alan, then?

We can chose to discuss our differing opinions in an exchange of ideas, or we can just agree to disagree. Our approach should not turn into a quest to bring others over to our side.


Geraldine: I quite like the Bible.

Harry: Oh, a bit far fetched for my tastes.

Geraldine: Right. Fair enough.

When I do share my personal opinions, I try to do so honestly but respectfully. Which is why I often resort to lighthearted comments, as a way to double-check myself.

sorry, what were you saying?

If I offend anyone, or if someone would just like to discuss something in greater detail with me, feel free to use the contact form located on the “about” page of this blog. I enjoy conversing with others on a variety of subjects.

“variety” may be the wrong word…

Fandoms are families. Differing views and disagreements will arise, it’s how we handle them that sets us apart from other fandoms.

"I just ask you to look after each other."
“I just ask you to look after each other.”

When your need to be right overshadows the simple joy of sharing in the enjoyment, I would strongly urge you to reevaluate why you are here, in this particular fandom.

"To live and let live, without clamour for distinction"
“To live and let live, without clamour for distinction”

Our light will shine brighter together.

Embraceable Me: a fan history

A few fandom members seem to be looking back lately and recalling why they were drawn to Richard Armitage initially. So I thought this might be a good time to look back a bit at my fan history, in the general sense, what led me to embrace this particular type of hobby.

*look back, look back at me!*
look back, look back at me

I’ve always enjoyed watching movies and television. Being an extremely shy child, it became an easy way for me to connect with family members who didn’t quite know how to interact with me.

if we’re in the same room, that counts as spending time together

My father and I would regularly watch westerns, spy thrillers, and Karate films together.

blood optional
blood optional

You’re not allowed to talk when watching television with my Dad, questions have to wait for commercials or until the end credits roll. this caused me to often miss the plot entirely.

what just happened?
what just happened?

My older brother and I would memorize movie lines word-for-word and shout them out while the movie was playing.

"you're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe?"
‘you’re not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe?’

This was the only time our activities together didn’t involve competition of some sort, or end with me crying.

"may the Schwartz be with you"
‘may the Schwartz be with you’

As I grew older and my viewing partners became wrapped up in their responsibilities

 "time to make the donuts!"
time to make the donuts!

I spent my time engulfed in old black & white reruns on television.

Eddie Haskell, Denis the Menace; I liked those mischievous boy-next-door types
Eddie Haskell, Denis the Menace; I liked those mischievous types

And while my school friends moved on into puberty without me–I fought against it, kicking and screaming!



we acquired pay-per-view movies and I was in Heaven!

as I said, Heaven
as I said, Heaven

Being the serious-minded child I was, my tastes ran more towards war, separation, and death.

I was a barrel of laughs!
I was a barrel of laughs.

Puberty did eventually catch up with me, and brought with it the propensity to crush on cute boys.

sit by me at Lunch? check "yes" or "no"
sit by me at Lunch? check yes or no

After I was married and moved away from family and friends, the hobby of crushing on actors became a comfort to me. As an adult, different things interested me than before. I was attracted to the personal way an actor approached their craft, and what type of character lay underneath that chameleon skin. I needed to respect these men in order to admire them.


were they the kind of men that would not only watch television alongside of me, but encourage my questions about the plot?

*interesting viewpoint*
interesting viewpoint

were they the kind of men who could lightheartedly tease without being purposely mean?

thank you for asking
thank you for asking

I recently read a suggestion that the average duration of an intense infatuation is 3 years. Hmm. Well, my first adult celebrity crush (Ewan McGregor) ran it’s course for 8 years. Granted, I kept it quiet for awhile and never interacted with anyone concerning it.

it's probably worth mentioning that I could hardly write an e-mail at this point; computers inevitably broke when I touched them
it’s probably worth mentioning that I could hardly write an e-mail at this point; computers broke when I touched them

Crush number two (Christian Bale) went strong for 5 years. I was heavily active on a fan-forum with this one (still didn’t know how to post a picture, or even understand the concept of fan-fiction yet)

other people care what I think?
other people care what I think?

Number three was a book series and actor wrapped into one (Twilight/Robert Pattinson), and it lasted 3 years. I was the most involved in that one. I fought those pesky computer gremlins and overcame my technophobia!

I not only know what that button does, I also know it's name!
I not only know what that button does, I also know it’s name!

Number two hasn’t really left, just the obsessive nature surrounding it.


I moved on from number three for various reasons that didn’t necessarily concern me, personally.

Snow White did what to the sparkly vampire, again? look, unless it's about a dwarf named Thorin, I just don't care.
Snow White did what to the sparkly vampire? unless it’s about a dwarf named Thorin, I just don’t care.

I sometimes hover around the fandom fringes of my favorite television show (Lost), or my favorite book series (Outlander), but getting into long-winded debates about them just doesn’t interest me.


So taking into account my history, how long will this crush on Richard Armitage last?

signs point to yes
signs point to yes

I try to embrace what makes me happy. There will always be those who don’t understand; I’m not forcing them to. This is me and it always has been, to varying degrees. I celebrate and share that which I admire. I’m better with it than without it; that should be explanation enough.


as long as this continues, I can see myself settling down here quite contentedly. The fresh air is nice and the exercise is proving beneficial. The scenery is enjoyable too…

In The Army Now

Once I had decided that I was firmly on the Richard Armitage train, it was time to let everyone know.

Mama Thornton forcing look gif
I have some exciting news!

So, first things first: I jumped into my Paint program and made a new signature for my community message board, something more RA-centric.

NYC hoodie PS banner

I chose this particular photoshoot because Richard seems to look his actual age in it and that appealed to me. This was the Richard Armitage that you could possibly pass by on the street buying a newspaper, or hailing a cab.

NYC hoodie PS hands
or attempting to explain String Theory

Next, I sought out the Armitage Army. I found an Armitage Army forum.this one is associated with Richard Armitage Central (a RA info site) and joined right away.

Guy removing blindfold from Marian gif
is hazing allowed in this Army? *looks hopeful*

Fan-Forums are ideal places to find helpful tidbits from the fans themselves: location of things online, history and lore, interviews you shouldn’t miss…

biggest sword interview gif

you can cut that gif

he names his weapons gif

I name my weapon too gif

Well established forums can feel a bit intimidating at first, so I like to focus on the film work as a start. After I made my introductory post

letter-jacket wave
*insert lame intro here*

I jumped down to the film threads to lurk around a bit

hooded Guy gif
currently online

and hopefully find what to watch next. I noticed they housed a large Fan-Fiction section, but seeing as how I had just recently pulled myself out of a fanfic addiction, I thought it best to bypass that area for now. that would change once I discovered North & South, Robin Hood, Sparkhouse…

Adam's Apple Guy
FanFiction: because it’s cheaper than therapy

I should note that becoming engulfed in the world of blogs and blogging has pretty much canceled out my forum time.

Thornton asleep on desk

I also needed more visual stimulation, so I turned to Tumblr. I Googled some Richard Armitage themed tumblrs, then clicked on promising titles and avatars from their followers, etc. there seems to be an RA tumblr for everything: characters, body parts, even Richard eating and drinking!

Sydney #SRSLY gif
you have no idea

I have my handful of favorites now, but it took me weeks of clicking through the archives of all 500 gazillion of them.

Thorin and Dwalin conspire
is gazillion even a thing?

It was a taxing job… but a sacrifice I was willing to make.

Porter in uniform