So… *insert painfully awkward small talk here*



my creativity seems to be low at the moment. I’m itching to blog about something, I just don’t know what! my mind has been occupied with holiday/family stress and all the insanity that’s been in the news lately.



To try and lighten things up, I watched Harry in The Vicar of Dibley yesterday and then followed that up with an array of fanvid favorites, but it failed to pull me out of my funk.

‘you really must watch me more than once!’


I’ve convinced my daughter to watch LOST with me, from the beginning, so we’ve been binge watching it when she gets home from school. it’s hard not to ambush her with 6 seasons worth of knowledge though.

I can’t tell you!


So I thought that opening up communication with all of you might help, because rambling on in the comments can be it’s own kind of magic!
truer words have never been spoken


what is the RA go to subject you turn to when in need of escape?

jeans. always the jeans.


is there something non-RA related that can always make you smile? 

Christian Bale dancing. every time.


what kind of things do you wonder about?

will Richard feel this way about The Hobbit?


*all subjects welcome, but I should probably warn you that my stress trigger words at the moment seem to be Mother/Brother/Dog. use with caution.



a quote from the Hannibal commentary, to start us off:

that was one of my very first shots as well, so i was kind of, firstly, very nervous about joining a new crew and about being naked in front of a new crew in minus fifteen temperature where your body isn’t gonna necessarily look its best.  but they were very good to me. I asked for a fluffer, but one didn’t arrive  – Richard Armitage


cheeky Armitage is alive and strong!


Who Done It?

Murder mysteries are difficult for me to follow. when reading them, I’m constantly flipping back and forth through pages, trying to keep it all straight. when watching them, I make my guess on “who done it” fairly early, but then spend the rest of the time hopelessly lost! so when I happened upon an old notebook recently and found a set of notes I took while watching Miss Marple: ordeal by innocence, I had a hard time making heads or tails of them. adding pictures may help.



-Gwenda, the secretary, longs for her boss.

while he dreams of a galaxy Far, Far Away


-Jacko (the villain) implores his Mother for money.



-Family, relaxing by the fire, hear argument but seem relatively(puns are fun!) unconcerned.



-Jacko tries to kill Mother, but family saves her. Mother wonders if she’s done right by her children, then tells Jacko’s brother (Bobby) that she shouldn’t have bothered adopting him & his brother.

oh, burn!


-meanwhile: Housekeeper runs into Philip, who’s been behind closed doors with a woman who is not his wife.

finger porn
finger porn


eyelash porn
eyelash porn


-Housekeeper finds Mother dead.

cause of death: reading Dr. Quinn fanfiction


-Phillip calls police.

more finger porn
more finger porn


-Jacko suspected of murder, yet he seems unconcerned. trusts his alibi of hitchhiking, claiming he can describe the driver. gets arrested anyway.

house porn
house porn


*Two Years Later*

-Gwenda the secretary writes to Miss Marple, inviting her to a wedding (her and the bossman are getting married). Gwenda is glad to have Marple with her because the family doesn’t like her.

shlemiel, schlemazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!
shlemiel, schlemazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!


-Philip is now in a wheelchair.

*sad panda*
*sad panda*


-family plays charades together, Phillip makes a correct guess.

Phillip has smiled. this is truly a momentous day!



-a rambling Professor shows up with an alibi for Jacko. too bad he’s already been executed.



*Break for Backstory*

Mother adopted a bunch of kids. she tried to make it a happy family, but she was more indulgent than loving. the family’s oldest daughter married Phillip, who was a pilot but now suffers from Polio. Bobby (the good son) & Jacko (the bad son) are twins. Hester seems simple minded and possibly unstable. Tina is the youngest, a bit wild, and especially close with her brother Mickey.

Angsty porn
Angsty porn

*Break over*

-Philip cynically asks which one of the children killed their mother.

dinner conversation Fail
dinner conversation Fail


-Wife takes Phillip back to their house. he taunts her and says he always knew she was capable of killing.

wet forelock porn
wet forelock porn


*Information Drop*

Housekeeper tells Miss Marple that Jacko had a secret wife. she came looking for money from the family while he was in jail. she said she knows Jacko committed the murder because he was found with the stolen money.

Bobby tells Miss Marple that he & sis visited Jacko while he was in jail. Bobby lamented that he should have been more like his brother; taking the blame for the murder was the best thing Jacko ever did.

Hester tells Prof that Mom & Brother’s death was a good thing.

me, wondering WTF is going on!
me, wondering WTF is happening


-an Inspector is brought in to question everyone. Phillip smirks when his wife doesn’t mention him being with another woman during the night in question.

slightly greasy forelock porn
greasy forelock porn


-Housekeeper is overheard discussing Gwen’s motive with Husband/Father. she says Gwen had a fight with the Mother because she wanted the house & money. Tina suggests that it was Gwen as well. Micky tells Prof that Bobby is the good son. Miss Marple influences the Inspector.

good to know I'm not the only one who is lost
good to know someone knows what’s going on!


-Gwen searches for evidence in Mother’s room and finds a business card. Mom was having Phillip investigated, she suspected he was only married for the money. Mother had list with names of other women connected to Phillip.

ohhh, Fuuudddge
ohhh, Fuuudddge


-Prof is now convinced that Phillip is guilty and tells Gwen. they find Jacko’s wife to question her. she said he made a habit of conning older women out of their money.

how would one go about doing that? asking for a friend...
‘how does one go about doing that? asking for a friend…’


-Bobby won’t hand over control of his sister’s money, which makes Phillip angry(er).



-a neighbor boy says Tina’s motorbike was at the house the night of the murder. Tina is questioned about the discrepancy, Mickey flips out. Dad is trying to stay positive through it all but Housekeeper is trying to turn all of the children against Gwen. she says Mother gave Phillip an ultimatum to leave, but wife doesn’t believe it.

if you love him, be proud of him, 'cause after all he's just a man...
if you love him, be proud of him, ’cause after all he’s just a man


-Dad breaks up with Gwen, asks her to leave. Bobby contemplates suicide. Phillip searches through papers in the Study…and someone kills Gwen.

-Police find weapon, arrest Dad. Miss Marple finds wheel tracks in Study. Phillip talks privately with Hester saying, “they might be onto us”. wife sees.



-Prof finds out Jacko did not con older women out of their money. their pants, on the other hand…



-Phillip argues with Bobby about money. Bobby drops a case filled with family silver, runs away. Prof finds Hester, seems suicidal. Bobby won’t help him calm her down. Bobby leaves in a rowboat instead and throws himself in the lake. he drowns.

that's a clue
‘I feel a monologue coming’


-Miss Marple tells everyone that Bobby was involved in fraud and was about to be caught. Hester was the girl Phillip had an affair with. Mickey and Tina fell in love, Mother knew and was protecting them. meanwhile, Housekeeper was in love with Jacko. he told her to kill Mother.

*Plot Twist*


-Housekeeper let Jacko die in prison because he didn’t tell her he was married.

Every cliche about hired help
every cliche about hired help


Bonus Pic because: connections

"Star Wars" alums, Ewan McGregor & Uncle Denis
Ewan McGregor & Uncle Denis


What’s So Amazing That Keeps Us Stargazing?

What is it about certain actors that cause me to pursue them and follow their careers, while others pass me by or get left along the roadside? this is something I think about from time to time because the actors I follow do tend to have certain things in common, yet they can be very different at the same time.

if you even breathe the word "Circus", I will leave you here!
‘if you even breathe the word “Circus”, I will leave you here!’

the way I initially become interested in an actor can differ. I may take notice of them after several projects or it may only be one that causes me to want to know more about them. in the case of Richard it was the latter, when I saw him in The Hobbit: an unexpected journey. it was his expressive eyes, his commanding stance, his soothing voice, and how he made me pay more attention to what was going on inside the character, that reeled me in to him.

and his sword. it is the biggest...
and his sword. it is the biggest…

sometimes it’s the depiction of a true story, or a certain period of history, career, geographical location, etc. that peaks my interest and sends me off to find out more. the behind-the-scenes features and promotional interviews are vastly interesting to me and helpful in this regard. through the viewing of these, I might find something about the actors themselves that sparks my interest, whether that be personality traits, knowledge about the subject, or just general “off-screen” appearance. then it becomes a dual interest that sends me off in all different directions!

off-screen appearance: hot mess
off-screen appearance: hot mess

that’s what happened to me this past week with the movie Unbroken and it’s lead actor, Jack O’Connell. I have a fondness for movies that center around hope and the human spirit. this true story definitely fit the bill for that, along with it’s subjects of World War II (which I’ve always had a fascination with) and the sport of running (which my son is currently involved in). I was particularly impressed with Jack’s mastery of an American accent and the respect he held for the story itself, as well as the art of acting in general.

soulful eyes? check.
soulful eyes? check.

several years ago when I first watched the movie Atonement with James McAvoy, I followed a similar path. I became curious about the battle of Dunkirk, which played a part in the story, along with James himself. I found his general demeanor very likable, so I followed his career for awhile. I still enjoy James when I see him in movies but I never quite reached that level of curiosity that caused me to delve into the man behind the actor; he doesn’t have that special something, the umf! that reaches out and grabs me. no offense to James, of course. there have been many that I’ve taken an interest in that didn’t end up panning out in the end: Bradley Cooper, Gerard Butler, Sam Heughan, Peter Facinelli, Eddie Redmayne, just to name a few.


My WWII interest started at the age of 13, when I first became aware of Christian Bale in the drama Empire of the Sun. this led to another WWII related movie of his, Swing Kids, that introduced me to that era’s music as well. I love when movies spark my interest in a subject I’d never paid much attention to before, the trickle-down effect of books, music, etc. that following actors and their fandoms can bring. 

P-51 Mustang, "Cadillac of the Skies"
P-51 Mustang, Cadillac of the Skies

I’ve always enjoyed war/military movies in general. Richard doesn’t share the WWII aspect specifically, but John Porter fits the military connection. Thorin embodies the “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” attitude rather well too. I used to think that redemption was the theme that ran through my interest in Richard’s characters, but lately I’ve pondered whether it’s not the act of lying instead- lying to others, lying to ourselves.

liar, liar, pants on fire
liar, liar, pants on fire!

what first impressed me about Richard in the promotional interviews for AUJ was his grasp of the subject matter. he was very well versed in Tolkien lore and the ramifications that surrounded that character. an actor that takes the time to research his role and really tries to understand it, will always impress me. the more I watched/read about Richard, the more I noticed how different from the character of Thorin he was off-screen. I think that’s the thing that intrigues me the most, when I’m able to see the depth an actor gives his characters through details of voice, body language,etc. in comparison to their real life self. Richard Armitage isn’t actually a serial killer and neither is Christian Bale, or Jamie Dornan for that matter…uh oh, I hope “serial killer” is not an emerging theme of my admiration. someone put Richard in a bomber jacket, quick!

close enough, for now

what connections can you make between Richard and your other interests? if you follow the careers of other actors, what do they share in common with Richard?

bonus pic:

for reasons.
for reasons.



The SinnaBunny visited my mailbox yesterday and left me: Belstaff Francis!



he was through the door without even a “you owe me awe” before he commandeered a living space for himself.

he seemed especially intrigued by the attic...
he seemed especially intrigued by the attic


Belstaff Francis was made by the talented Nancy Soares of sinnabunny crafts. her Etsy shop is filled with similar plushies from various television shows. I don’t think Francis should be left to his own devices in that big old house, maybe he’ll need a roommate in the future?

Guy of Gisborne could be a nice fit


or maybe John Proctor


I don’t know who this Garrett fellow is but he looks capable


decisions, decisions…


the sinnabunnycrafts shop on Etsy can be found here.

Running to Stand Still

Richard’s run on Hannibal is over and while I won’t miss the show itself, I have grown attached to Francis Dolarhyde, but not for the reasons I thought I might. a lot of fans have fallen for the shy boy, the damaged soul who doesn’t understand life and death and love in the way that most of us do. I like that Francis because I want to ease his burden, show him what love (all kinds) is.

I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me


The Francis that has really captured my attention though isn’t that shy boy, it’s the Francis who is becoming something more. not the Dragon persona specifically, because the Dragon is what pushes Francis to murder families and that’s horrible, but the part of him that is embracing the thought that he doesn’t have to sit back and take it anymore.

we're not gonna take it, no! we ain't gonna take it


…which is a bit of an oxymoron since the Dragon is bullying Francis into doing what he wants. I guess I like the in-between Francis? I don’t know, I’m starting to confuse myself! let me explain what it is that I like and what facets of his personality(s) I find alluring.

alluring facet
alluring facet


I like the physical way that Francis starts inhabiting his body. not just the fleshy parts we get to see in the attic but also how his stance changes, the way he moves and walks. how the uncertain boy who first meets Reba, starts to own the space around him once they become intimate with one another. this is different from the man who first invites her into his van, eats pie with her; the methodical loner.



I find the physicality most alluring when he’s the Dragon; the power. I’ve become slightly addicted to the scene with Dr. Chilton. Richard’s acting steps out of the box here in a way that both frightens and excites me. he’s scary! his demeanor, his voice. I feel like I am right there in the room with them, frozen. I couldn’t leave if I wanted to! 

Francis aka The Boogeyman
Francis aka ‘The Boogeyman’


The body itself entices me, as he’s sitting there in his robe. his shoulders seem so square all of a sudden, so regimented, and that patch of skin that’s peeking out at the neck. the silk of the robe, the hypnotizing cadence of the voice, not being able to see his eyes or observe his facial expressions forces me to rely on whatever it is that he is pushing out into the room. can pheromones reach through the television? 



there’s just all kinds of mind-fuckery going on in that scene! it shouldn’t feel sensual but it does. the fear shouldn’t entice me but it does. I shouldn’t eagerly anticipate whatever horror he’s about to unleash upon the doctor but I do. FYI: on rewatch, I shut this scene off after the feline stalk but before the demonic kiss. the gore is more than a little disturbing.



I feel some of that same magnetism during the scene when Reba locks the door. I think it’s understandable in that scene because it’s more clearly Francis, who is trying to  do right by Reba. it’s still that odd mixture of wariness and familiarity that is Francis, along with those sensual undertones. he’s telling her to touch his chest so that she can find the key that he’s wearing around his neck. 



it seems like something different, the encouraging tone to his voice feels intimate but quickly shifts to a reprimand when her touch goes too far.



I hold my breath when she goes over to lock the door, hoping that she will do what he says. not because I’m afraid for her but because I’m afraid for him.




I want him to feel that someone has faith in him, whether he deserves it or not. I want him to feel goodness in the air, if only for a fleeting moment, before he goes off to do what he feels he must do. he’s either going to fail at the task he’s set before himself, or the Dragon is going to prevail; neither scenario is promising. let him carry a talisman of goodness, of love, of humanity, with him where he ends up- so that he’s not alone. 



with all this feeling swirling around inside of me, it’s no wonder I was disappointed with how it all played out. I felt it was wrapped up too quickly, that the characters involved suddenly went off script and did things that didn’t mesh with what had gone before. aside from the very last frame of Francis, with his earthly wings, I felt he had been disrespected by the ending of the story. his demise wasn’t worthy of him, in my opinion. he was so smart and so cunning and so physically able, that whole tag team dance of blood just seemed cheap in comparison. 



in the end, I surprised myself with the attachment I grew to feel towards Francis. he’s like a roller-coaster that frightens me but gets my adrenaline flowing so strongly that I find myself stupidly shouting, “let’s go again!” I feel like I shouldn’t want to, but I will, because I have no choice.