I finally watched the last episode of Hannibal yesterday evening (no real spoilers ahead). I’ve been putting it off because I was afraid to see it end– fearing emotional overload or gore overload or both. the series is not something I would normally watch but I’m glad I had the experience of watching it. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the program itself exactly, the overall style wasn’t really to my liking, but I did enjoy seeing Richard stretch himself in the acting department. I can truthfully say that I was scared of him several times throughout the story. I’ve tried to resist spoilers as much as my curiosity would let me and I think I did well, all things considered (i.e.Tumblr) but I did see mentions of people raving about the finale, how emotional it was and how it was a fitting ending and how the song enhanced the scene, etc. etc. so I went in with expectations– never good for me–and came out sorely disappointed.


I did really like the scene with Reba and the locking of the door, but this post isn’t a review of the episode or the series, it concerns what happened after…yep, it’s dream time! early on, after only the second episode of Richard’s, I had a Stockholm Syndrome type dream starring Dolarhyde, myself, and his house–I have a bit of a crush on his house.

sweet dreams are made of this

I had yet to really experience Richard’s characterization of Dolarhyde, but the small glimpse I had seen caused me to have a very vivid dream that was equal parts scary and confusing, because of the loyalty I grew to feel towards him. Richard’s voice as Dolarhyde alone, really infused that character with a certain kind of depth that pulled me in like a magnet. and it was that feeling that dominated the dream I had last night as well, only this time it was much scarier and even more confusing. 


The beginning of the dream is a bit murky in my memory. it involved Dolarhyde and Hannibal chasing me, with Hannibal nipping at my ankles like a dog and Dolarhyde fending him off. Will was with me and we ducked into what we initially thought was a shopping mall but turned out to be a children’s school. we thought there would be enough people around to afford us some time to catch our breath and formulate some kind of plan. the next thing I knew, Hannibal, myself, and Dolarhyde (though he was more The Dragon at that point) were in a small, underused cafeteria. Dolarhyde was ready to be “changed” and he wanted Hannibal to talk him through it. I was scared shitless, just standing there hoping that I wouldn’t be forced to take part in any way. 


it seems as if Dolarhyde and I had cultivated a friendship at one time, during his struggle with the Dragon but before it had all escalated, and so I was upset that I was going to loose my friend. he was still in there somewhere, existing alongside the Dragon. Dolarhyde started removing the layers of clothing he was wearing. he tossed a sweater at my feet and I picked it up, hugged it to my chest, while giving it a nostalgic sniff. he saw me do this and stopped his movements. 


I became really scared, not knowing whether I had offended him or not. then he said, in his dark methodical voice, “you may wear the Dragon’s coverings, when you find the need”, like he was giving me permission and bestowing upon me a high honor. he beckoned Hannibal forward then and dismissed me, so I backed out of the room slowly.

shameless house porn disguised as reaction gif
shameless house porn disguised as reaction gif

I joined Will at the open doors, where he had been watching. the bell of the school rang, surprising Dolarhyde and unnerving him. Hannibal calmly told him that it was the school bell because we were in a school. then Hannibal started singing “Jesus loves the little children” and it was creepy as hell! Will and I looked at each other in a panic, not wanting the children to see what was about to happen, so we closed the doors to the room and stood guard. most of the kids moved along and didn’t pay us any mind but one boy stopped to look through the windows of the doors and exclaimed how cool the life-size anatomy model looked. as I was shooing him away he asked if he could touch the intestine. I looked at Will, horrified. I had avoided looking in the room myself but Will was watching and told me that Dolarhyde was willingly being disembowel by Hannibal. I stumbled out the doors of the building after that.


I desperately needed to decompress and get my head straight. I was feeling all kinds of conflicting emotions, horror and fear but also sadness and compassion, on top of a begrudging respect for the Dragon. I spotted a bench across the parking lot, located at the side of a maintenance garage, and so I started towards it. I was in a daze and nearly missed being hit by a car that was driving through the parking lot, when I noticed a man walking parallel to me. I weaved my path a bit to see if he would stick with me and he did. I glanced at the man and he was definitely not friendly.

excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Starbucks?
excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Starbucks?

I thought, “and the hits keep coming! I so do not need this right now!” the man scared me, uttering verses from the Book of Revelation about horsemen and angels, but he also made me very angry. I needed to mourn my friend, not deal with whatever brand of insanity this guy had going on! 


I purposefully put on the shirt that Dolarhyde had given me and then stopped walking, the man did too. he blankly stared at me as he pulled a book of matches from his pocket. I looked around and realized the pavement outside of the garage was covered in spilled gasoline and patches of rainbowed oil. as I turned back towards the man, he lit a match and dropped it. oh, it is ON now! I lunged at him and we fell to the ground wrestling. 

gunter glieben glauchen globen
gunter glieben glauchen globen

he was smaller in stature so he didn’t automatically overpower me but I was struggling. I finally got the upper hand and pinned him to the ground. this seemed amazing to me because I was not in particularly good shape and I had spent the whole day running from Hannibal. I felt like the shirt was giving me some sort of power, whether it be physical or only mental. 


it was difficult to keep the man subdued though so I screamed out for Will, hoping he was just inside the doors and could hear me. as the fire started to spread, I screamed out a second time, while emotionally trying to keep myself together because my anger had turned back to fear–I was about to lose it and just deconstruct on the spot. as a last ditch effort I called out to Hannibal, not particularly loud and kind of on the end of a sob. suddenly the man stopped struggling underneath me and I felt him lift his head as I had my face pushed into his back. he whispered an awed “fuck”. then I heard Hannibal ask calmly “you called, my dear?” …and then I woke up.


my heart was pounding and I felt like I was drowning in that vulnerable feeling you get after having a nightmare, but then I laughed to myself and thought “and that’s how a finale is done! #micdrop” 


(when you start dreaming in hashtags, maybe it’s time to back away from Twitter)


Let’s Marvin Gaye

I haven’t done one of these in awhile but when I heard this song today, I automatically thought of Francis & Reba. “Marvin Gaye” by Charlie Puth, featuring Meghan Trainor (the link will take you to the song on YouTube, in a separate window, so you can play it in the background while viewing this post)


Marvin Gaye


Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on
You got the healing that I want
Just like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on



We got this king size to ourselves
Don’t have to share with no one else
Don’t keep your secrets to yourself
It’s kama sutra show and tell



There’s loving in your eyes
That pulls me closer
It’s so subtle
I’m in trouble
But I’d love to be in trouble with you

sip-of-wine-png (1)


Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on
You got the healing that I want
Just like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on



You got to give it up to me
I’m screaming mercy, mercy please
Just like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on



And when you leave me all alone
I’m like a stray without a home
I’m like a dog without a bone
I just want you for my own
I got to have you babe



There’s loving in your eyes
That pulls me closer
It’s so subtle
I’m in trouble
But I’d rather be in trouble with you



Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on
Ooh babe, got the healing that you want
Like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on



Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on
You got the healing that I want
Just like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on, babe



You got to give it up to me
I’m screaming mercy, mercy please
Just like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on



Just like they say it in the song
Until the dawn, let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on


My Favorite Richard-y Things

(set to The Sound of Music‘s “My Favorite Things” )


Whiskers and sideburns on Hood Acad. Guy‘s throat


bright crazy plane socks


and warm woolen Pea coats


half-assed apologies, engagement rings


these are my favorite Richard-y things.


Brown bearded goodness


and heroes with bouquets


Ray Bans*


and Converse


and fish supper foreplay


mystery necklaces made of shoestring


these are my favorite Richard-y things.


Spies with tattoos


and accountants with glasses




and Crinkles


and lovely long lashes


jeans that accentuate


t-shirts that cling


these are my favorite Richard-y things.


When the kids fight


when the nerves fray


when I’m feeling sad


I simply remember my favorite things


and then I don’t feel so bad!




*I’ve been informed that the sunglasses are actually Maui Jim Mavericks

What? Who? Richard?!

I was finally able to get my husband to sit down with me this past weekend and watch the first episode of Hannibal that Richard is in. the episode was a bit of a prelude, bridging past storylines to future ones, so a lot was lost on us– I’ve read the first few chapters of the book and have seen a few episodes from the first season, so I knew enough to get us through. 

important thing to remember: Francis likes to exercise in his underwear
important plot point: Francis likes to exercise in his underwear

Husband’s reaction:I didn’t realize he had such a noticeable scar, has it always been that pronounced?” What? Who?  your guy, Richard or whatever“. first- Husband knows darn well what Richard’s name is. you can say it out loud, it won’t hurt you!

Richard *BAM!* Armitage *POW!*
Richard *BAM!* Armitage *POW!*


second- it’s not like Husband hasn’t watched Richard before. we watch all three Hobbit movies regularly, he’s seen the Strike Back episodes that Richard is in and The Vicar of Dibley ones too. he’s even watched all three seasons of Lucas North with me…


feeling defensive at my reaction to his question, Husband replied “well, I don’t spend all day looking at his face like you do!” while this may be true, one would think a massive lip scar would be memorable. I’m chalking this up to the talent of Hannibal’s make-up department, instead of Husband subconsciously blocking out Richard’s face.


Son’s reaction (he walked by and unexpectedly got pulled into watching): he loved the crime scene reenactment. the way Will sees what is presently there and then switches to an overlay showing what happened there previously. the way the blood trajectory was mapped out with red string was cool but do they really do that at crime scenes? seems like a waste of string when the same could be done a lot easier with some kind of computer program.


Son lost interest after that and went back to gaming, where he’s an arms dealer with a temper. I keep telling him that he can’t just shoot everyone that annoys him. the customer is always right! 

sure, I can get that Glock for you in purple. no problem!
sure, I can get that Glock for you in purple, no problem!

My reaction:Hannibal’s accent is hard to understand. the cannibal innuendos were kind of gross, as was Will’s cabin-so many dogs, so many soft fleshy dog bellies. 

oh no! not the dog bellies!
no! not the dog bellies!

if Francis had only had access to a home computer, he could have thrown all of that drive and creativity into photoshopping and fanvids. Bryan Fuller’s gain is 1D fandom’s loss.

Zayn 4eva!
Zayn 4eva!

and, of course, we can’t forget my most prominent reaction: must control breathing while watching exercise scenes with husband. do not blush, do not blush!


so when the discussion among us turned to which movies starred Laurence Fishburne and which ones Samuel L. Jackson (a common mix-up it seems, though Laurence will always be “Stokes” from Cadence to me), I eagerly joined in. Blush is still visible: deflect, deflect! 

hey, Honey! look at this new chair!
hey, Honey! look at this new chair!

Richard Armitage’s chemistry with … Bloggers & how they support his life’s goal

frauvonelmdings gives some interesting insights into why I (along with other bloggers) feel a soul-connection towards Richard and choose to blog about it. you can place your Saturn on my South Node anytime, Richard…


No one knows if Mr A is really aware of the impressive amount of people blogging almost on a daily basis about him, nor if he ever reads some of the funny, encouraging, serious, oh and not to forget the NSFW-stuff 😉

Not many people are able to openly communicate feelings they have towards, or because of another person in front of – literally – the whole world. To express their support and care for that person’s actions, create artwork inspired through a ‘mere’ virtual connection – which is nevertheless obviously felt very strongly.

It’s already been over half a year now, that I’m seriously musing about WHAT forces are working ‘behind the scenes’ here. Some bloggers might not even feel comfortable if they knew for sure, that Mr A was indeed an avid reader of their blog. So, why are we doing this?

I’ve tried to explain my own…

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