clarification

it seems there’s some confusion on what I meant when I said I was “leaving the army“, so I’d like to clarify for those who are confused. first, I think it goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway: the Armitage Army isn’t a real Army *gasp*

okay, now in more detail: although I’ve not been highly active in the community at large, I have been out and about reading and making comments and trying to generally be aware of what is going on around me for while now. I try not to drag this blog into drama or controversy, which has been relatively easy because I don’t report on current news or write about things that take a lot of thought. Now that is not to say this blog is just fluff, I do have deeper undercurrents running through my musings and picture captions on occasion, but generally this is a place for me to escape my brain and just smile and laugh and meet some nice folks who want to smile and laugh too.

But because my mother taught me that what I feel and who I am matters, that I shouldn’t just sit in a corner and be forgotten, I speak up. I share my thoughts and feelings when I encounter conversations that peak my interest. If I can relate to what someone is saying, then I chime in to let them know that they are not alone. Sometimes I’m insensitive, sometimes it’s hard for me to reign in my passion, sometimes I get offended or feel slighted, sometimes I mess up.

For whatever reason, my way is just not meshing with the community affectionately know as “The Army”. I’m weary of feeling like I have to hold myself in check during conversations, to not say what I want to say for fear it will be misconstrued. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s “them”, maybe it’s an equal amount of both; but it’s hindering my enjoyment. So what should I do? I don’t want to quit blogging about Richard! But it’s just a label you say, why not stick to your own blog and make a personal vow not to roam around quite so much anymore, to avoid the conversations and behaviors that are upsetting to you? I tried that, it didn’t work 😕 and really, that is just another form of sitting in the corner, isn’t it? Staying quiet, not bothering anybody, sacrificing who I am so that I can belong.

So this is why I feel that leaving the army, so to speak, is the wisest decision for me. I can still blog about Richard, still interact with others who want to stop by for a visit, still stroll through the fandom once in awhile as a visitor and find enjoyment in it. Maybe that reasoning makes me selfish, maybe I’m too sensitive and protective, maybe I’m over-dramatic, maybe I’m naive, maybe I’m bitter, maybe my ideals are too lofty; but maybe that’s just who I am. If I can continue to be who I am without burning all of my bridges, and still have Richard at the same time? I’m going to do it 😀

That is what “leaving the Army” means to me. some of it is about “them”, but most of it is about me.  As a civilian I can be friends with whomever I choose, no matter which side of the fence they are on. As a civilian I can make mistakes, regret them, and try to correct them without fear of permanent dishonor. As a civilian I can protect and defend without being chastised for what it is I deem important. As a civilian I can just be. No conspiracies, no lies, no spies, no competing regiments, no shaming, no blaming.

Just Harry, and Thorin, and all the Johns. Lucas, and Guy, the Philips and Paul. Ricky, and Alec, and the soon to be Gary. Lee and Claude, and Percy and Heinz…and Richard. Interview Richard and Photoshoot Richard, Method Richard, and Autograph Richard, Witty Richard, and Dorky Richard, Laughing Richard, and Bashful Richard, Geeky Richard and Friendly Richard, Quiet Richard and Flirty Richard…you get the idea 😉

I don’t want to end up like Porter, or Lucas, or Guy. I’d rather be Harry instead…

Geraldine: Hi!

Harry: hello.

Geraldine: Imagine bumping into you again!

Harry: Yeah. Well, it’s a small village.

Geraldine: yeah.

Harry: I was just going on a stroll to, Nowhere in Particular.

Geraldine: Well, what a coincidence! because Nowhere in Particular, is exactly where I was heading!

Harry: Right! Good to get some exercise!

 

An Honorable Discharge

“We were once a noble people, not tinkers and merchants

scraping around in the dirt for copper coins

but Dwarf Lords! Once we were Kings.”

Oh Thorin, I hear you man, do I ever hear you! You were trying to reclaim your people’s good name, get back to those happier times you remembered so fondly. You felt the quest worthy, you thought others wanted to share in that rebirth. But saying and doing are two different things, aren’t they?

I’m a lover not a fighter, Thorin. What’s best for me is to find a nice little cottage to settle down in, and remove myself from the action. I’ll leave the fighting to you; and I mean ALL the fighting, especially the subtle kind. So as of this moment, I no longer consider myself part of The Armitage Army. I’m discharging, going back to being a regular Richard Armitage admiring civilian.

(I checked with Porter, he assured me that this is allowed 😛 )

What does this mean?

Well, I’m still going to blog about Richard, celebrate Richard, share the things about Richard that make me admire him so darn much; I can’t give that up! What I am giving up, is the community 😐

My cottage is a friendly cottage though, so I welcome any Richard Armitage admirer, no matter your affiliations or what faction you are a part of, to stop in and have a chat with me.

This has always been about Richard for me

and so this way, it shall continue to be 😉

~Kelbel75, a Richard Armitage civilian

Edit: for clarification on this issue, see my aside post here.

In The Army Now

Once I had decided that I was firmly on the Richard Armitage train, it was time to let everyone know.

I have some exciting news!

So, first things first: I jumped into my Paint program and made a new signature for my community message board, something more RA-centric.

I chose this particular photoshoot because Richard seems to look his actual age in it and that appealed to me. This was the Richard Armitage that you could possibly pass by on the street buying a newspaper, or hailing a cab.

or attempting to explain String Theory

Next, I sought out the Armitage Army. I found an Armitage Army forum.this one is associated with Richard Armitage Central (a RA info site) and joined right away.

is hazing allowed in this Army? *looks hopeful*

Fan-Forums are ideal places to find helpful tidbits from the fans themselves: location of things online, history and lore, interviews you shouldn’t miss…

Well established forums can feel a bit intimidating at first, so I like to focus on the film work as a start. After I made my introductory post

*insert lame intro here*

I jumped down to the film threads to lurk around a bit

currently online

and hopefully find what to watch next. I noticed they housed a large Fan-Fiction section, but seeing as how I had just recently pulled myself out of a fanfic addiction, I thought it best to bypass that area for now. that would change once I discovered North & South, Robin Hood, Sparkhouse…

FanFiction: because it’s cheaper than therapy

I should note that becoming engulfed in the world of blogs and blogging has pretty much canceled out my forum time.

must.find.more.gifs.

I also needed more visual stimulation, so I turned to Tumblr. I Googled some Richard Armitage themed tumblrs, then clicked on promising titles and avatars from their followers, etc. there seems to be an RA tumblr for everything: characters, body parts, even Richard eating and drinking!

you have no idea

I have my handful of favorites now, but it took me weeks of clicking through the archives of all 500 gazillion of them.

is gazillion even a thing?

It was a taxing job… but a sacrifice I was willing to make.