Free Form

I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. ~Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice

 

Hi! *waves* long time no see. it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged but I’m still wandering around the fandom.

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A few days ago I saw a retweet of a new fanvid by Girl of Gisborne. I clicked on it because it was described as a “crack” video, and I was curious to see if it could make me laugh. it did, I loved it! it felt so good to laugh at something fandom related again.

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Even though I had recently unfollowed Richard on Twitter

I say who, I say when, I say…who

I found myself still following the drama surrounding his newfound voice, and I saw him say:

 

did Richard just….stand his ground?!

 

 

he soon removed the tweet but that didn’t matter to me this time because that phrase, ‘feel free not to follow‘, got stuck on a loop inside my head. like it was supposed to mean something to me, something important. hmm.

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After months of RA related silence on Twitter, I made a tweet about him (give me a new photoshoot, Richard, and I will tweet your pretty face more often. just sayin’.)

more of this, please!

when someone replied that it was good to see I still liked Richard. it brought to my mind his words describing love. Richard makes me feel all of those things sometimes, with his words and his actions. and that’s okay.

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My 3 year blogging anniversary was in May. on that day I found myself reflecting back on some of the things I had learned throughout my RA fangirling/blogging experience. I didn’t make a post that day but I did save the list I had made:

 

1. I’ve learned that it’s easy to get caught up in the happenings that surround you
2. I’ve learned that it feels better to forgive, than to hold onto a grudge
3. I’ve learned that considering other points of view broadens your horizons
4. I’ve learned that there is a freedom in not having to prove that you are right
5. I’ve learned the appeal of being the class clown
6. I’ve learned that my fan experience is *my* responsibility
7. I’ve learned that Richard and I are not interchangeable
8. I’ve learned that I like leather jackets
9. I’ve learned that I greatly admire subtle acts of rebellion
10. I’ve learned that I like a well trimmed beard
11. I’ve learned that following your heart may cost you friends
12. I’ve learned that I always have a choice

 

I added that last line just yesterday, because I finally realized why Richard’s tweet was on repeat inside my head. Feel Free. free to do my thing and free for Richard to do his.

…and the record stopped skipping.