Prince Thorin

The first Richard Armitage character I became acquainted with was Thorin Oakenshield from The Hobbit: an unexpected journey. My first impressions of Thorin centered around the heavy responsibilities he carried upon his shoulders and how he seemed to wear his pride like a protective armor. I thought Thorin resisted the friendship between himself and Bilbo due to a superiority complex, and that it was less a case of accepting the friendship as becoming resigned to it. Thorin grew to respect Bilbo because he willingly subjected himself to the hardships that they all suffered along the journey, while also becoming a useful addition to the company. I still see those things in Thorin, but now I see so much more. 

Prince Thorin was a protector– he was softer before the dragon came. his father and grandfather were ahead of him in line to the throne–he was expected to observe, to learn, to hone his bravery on the battlefield. there is a lightness to his being when we see the younger version of Thorin in the flashback scenes– his stance isn’t as rigid and rooted as it becomes later, and there’s almost a shyness there. Prince Thorin is capable, can jump into action and take charge, as we see when he realizes it’s a dragon that is on the wind. Thorin shouts out orders immediately and grabs Balin to save him from the first attack of fire. but there is also fear. later, Thorin will try to mask that fear with arrogance and authority, but young Thorin wears his heart on his sleeve. when the Elves turn away and refuse to help– the incredulity upon his face. Prince Thorin had a trusting heart. 

After the dragon came, Thorin quickly became weighed down by responsibility, his stance changed to carry that load. his face became closed off, making the eyes stand out more than they did before. with age Thorin became more stoic, his body owning the space around him; older Thorin was solid. he no longer wore his heart on his sleeve, I would even venture a guess that he no longer believed he had one. Thorin was a leader now, a provider, and he would be damned if he let youthful fancies cloud his judgment. 

Prince Thorin wasn’t gone for good though, just hiding. when the keyhole didn’t appear: the vulnerability, the defeat, the loss of purpose. the acorn scene with Bilbo: the smile that made my heart hurt and soar at the same time.

Bilbo was able to reach the young Prince that was still inside of Thorin. the friendship that grew between them was the one thing that Thorin felt was his– apart from titles and responsibilities, from expectations and limitations. Bilbo saw Thorin, valued him for who he was, not who he was “meant” to be. I imagine that was scary and comforting and everything in between for Thorin, but it was real. the one real thing that Thorin possessed.

I see you Thorin. I see me reflected back in you.

I Gotta Feeling

Music & More Challenge

31.) favorite audio performance

ah, the voice. so much to choose from! I’ve listened to most of Richard’s audio performances: books, poems, adverts, etc. and there are several things about certain ones that I really enjoy, but it’s hearing him read “Code Poem for the French Resistance” that is my favorite, hands down.

The poem itself seems romantic to begin with but then you add in that deep whisper-like cadence and I am gone! I feel it, tightly, in the middle of my chest. when he says “pause” I get a shiver every.single.time.

I gotta feeling!

⭐

music question: a favorite vocal performance

I Was  Broken, sung by Robert Pattinson

this is a performance that you either love or you hate. even though it’s very raw and his voice cracks quite a bit as he goes along, it’s always touched something inside of me. Before “Twilight” hit but after “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”, Robert used to do open-mic nights sometimes with his musician friends. I suspect it gave him a venue to unleash something that he couldn’t do in the public eye he suddenly found himself in. no one knew it was “Cedric” up there on that stage, they just thought it was some dude learning how to play and perform the guitar. This song was written (and later recorded) by his friend, Marcus Foster. Robert’s version sounds different but the lyrics are the same. The lyrics themselves dig down deep and get to that place that you wish you could forget but probably shouldn’t.

 

Tired of the sound I’ve heard before
The gnawing of the night time at the door
Haunted by the things I’ve made
Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade

but it’s this performance that speaks to me, makes me want to cry but frees me at the same time. I can hear that in his voice, he’s purging himself of something and it’s so raw and passionate! there’s also a video, though quite blurry, that shows the performance about half way through the song. it skips the beginning verses, which I miss hearing, but you can see how he’s throwing himself into the song, forgetting where he is for those few minutes and just feeling.

when I first heard this performance, I was entranced by it. I listened to it over and over and over again for days on end. it was something I needed at that time, something that told me hey, you’re not the only one. I feel too and sometimes it’s a heavy burden to bear. I went through a time where I tried to shut my emotions off. it was just so exhausting to feel all of the time. it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. I missed the happy times and I missed the depth. I missed the laughter and I missed the hope. I came out the other side with a better understanding of what it means to be me though. someone said “it’s not that we don’t feel, it’s that we feel too much” and that is how it is for me. I’ve been learning to embrace it. I don’t want to close myself off like that, just because it’s easier. nothing worth having is ever easy.

the Crinkles make my toes feel warm & toasty

with the poem that Richard reads, I feel it physically in the middle of my chest. with the Robert Pattinson song, I feel it on my collarbone. when I read something angsty, I always feel it in my pinky fingers. isn’t that weird?

I should probably keep the location of this feel to myself…