Postcards From the Edge

As I tried to break free from the mundane mood I’ve been in lately, I took your suggestions to heart and started revisiting some of the gems that brought me here in the first place. Guylty suggested rereading the messages that Richard has written to the fan base. I’ve enjoyed their lightheartedness in the past, so it seemed like a good place to start.



I’ve talked about the fan messages before and how I appreciate seeing the silly side of Richard that shows up in many of them, particularly during the filming of Robin Hood and Spooks. This time around though a different angle grabbed my attention- the progression of a newly recognized actor, as he moves through the frustration of celebrity, into a more balanced individual.

Times Shoot III


The messages start with short, postcard type snippets of what Richard was working on at the time. it didn’t feel like promotion, but a casual and warm way of relaying what had been occupying his time. soon an undercurrent of apology ran throughout that picked up speed as the messages went along. apologies for not churning out notes of thank you and requested signed photos at a fast enough pace, apologies for the aesthetic look of characters he was portraying and the quality of programs they were part of, even an apology for his charity doodle not being up to par. I suspect some of this was due to inherent insecurity but also a result of fan reaction.



As time moved on correspondence, while often humorous, also seemed to reflect frustration. poking fun at the lack of timely communication with the “fan abandonment” theme, walking the fine line of what to say and what not to say by using a fictional “spokesperson”, and touching upon skepticism about the author of the messages with self-depreciation. the signatures also changed from “Richard” to the shortened “RA, with some messages not including a signature at all.



The messages were regulated to once a year after that, which isn’t surprising considering the filming of The Hobbit and all that entailed. the Richard that appeared in the messages that followed seemed more contemplative, and possibly wiser, as he pulled back from making himself openly available in that way. soon he switched over to Twitter, where communicating in 140 characters and photos has it’s own set of challenges.

slang is a language all it’s own

I find the earlier messages endearing in their postcard simplicity, and the later messages interesting in their contemplative depth, but the middle ones resonate with me the most. on the outside they’re humorous and creative, yet underneath they hint at struggle (I may have just described myself…). I find that comforting because it says to me that my struggles with similar issues are not a beat-yourself-up weakness. and that’s okay, because Richard has been there, done that too.

‘to delete or not to delete? that is the question!’

No matter which way you view the messages, I think we can agree that they’re special in the glimpses they provide into who Richard was before. from that first contact post in relation to the BBC North & South message board, through the ups and downs of fandom praise and disagreement, to the checking-in-with-old-friends quality over quantity.



I’m reminded of the end scene from the movie Field of Dreams, when the Kevin Costner character sees a younger version of his father walking across the baseball field, and remarks:

Look at him. He’s got his whole life in front of him and I’m not even a glint in his eye.


The messages Richard wrote to his fanbase not only give me a peek at who he was before I knew of him, but they also remind me of who I was when I first read them- a newbie with no boundaries or expectations.

Hey, is this Heaven?” No, it’s Richard Armitage fandom.

BreJqk8CcAASqF7.jpg large

“enjoy the typos!”

Kelly x


Look Back at Me

I probably should have done a looking back post on my blog’s one year anniversary instead of now, but I don’t like to be pressured into doing things at certain times. I often do a faux Lent after Easter, I get lovey a few days before Valentine’s Day, I get fat in the summer and skinny in the winter. Lately I’ve been thinking about my experiences since I’ve started this Armitage journey, so I’ve decided to share some of those thoughts now. Here is what I’ve learned:
Once upon a time…I started a blog. it was unnerving yet exhilarating at the same time. the tagline of the blog was wandering through the Richard Armitage Fandom because I intended to write about the path I had been following as I discovered Richard’s work and things relating to it.
In the beginning (no pun intended) I would often mention how I had experience in another fandom prior to this one so I would most likely be bypassing the growing pains that most newcomers go through and be able to jump right in with abandon instead. pompous, much? that’s like saying I wouldn’t need a map of New York City because I had visited Washington D.C.

I may have experienced a similar community but it wasn’t this community. I mostly stayed on the outskirts previously, too shy to assert myself, mostly contributing behind the scenes. This time things were different, because I was different. I didn’t want to sit back and watch, I wanted to engage. This time I didn’t want to hide in conformity, I wanted to explore my creative side openly. I chose to take a lighthearted approach, showing the ways that the RA characters resembled me in my every day life and the lives of my readers (readers plural. I was aiming high!) I didn’t expect the community celebrating Richard and his work, to be such a living breathing thing.

When fans interact online, we bring ourselves to the table, whether we intend to or not. all of our fears, our baggage, our light and our dark. conversing with different kinds of people, from different walks of life, has bettered me in numerous ways. it’s enriched my understanding of many things and added greatly to the hues that color my world. but what I’ve learned the most is about me. my need to be heard, my need to be unique, my need to let go while still remaining in control. controlling how I appear to others, what behaviors I find acceptable, what my principals really are. I’m an idealist, you see, I make things so much more difficult than they have to be! rather quickly I found myself getting side-tracked and pulled into the politics of Fandom. this was supposed to be an escape, it was supposed to be fun! So I tried to remove myself from the heart of the action, bury the grievances and just do my own thing. It doesn’t really work that way, though.

In the end, I realized that the only thing I had control over was me: my words, my actions. I can’t control what others think of me, what they think of each other, what they think of Richard. Fandom isn’t an abstract thing, it’s made up of real people. each of us are fandom, individually and collectively. Yes, I got burned a few times along the way, some deserved and some not; that pesky human nature thing. so nowadays I seek out the positive, the thought provoking, the people and things that make me feel good. It still hurts when I see others being mean to each another. I have a soft heart, but that’s okay. I can acknowledge that part of me now, work with it and be proud of it; instead of trying to hide it and harden it like before. 

I still enjoy interacting on this blog as I continue to discover projects of Richard’s that I haven’t seen yet, and ones that I keep revisiting. recognizing things in myself through the characters he portrays, for better or for worse. and having fun, that’s the important part. it’s an escape, yes, but it also renews and recharges me. next year hopefully I’ll have learned some new things, maybe I’ll have had to relearn others. I’ve felt more in the past year than I have in a long time. Mr. Thornton wouldn’t be quite the same  man we grew to love if Margaret had accepted his proposal straight away, he was better for it, just as I am better for it.


I look forward to much more good from here on out. I’m sure there will be some bad in there too; there will always be lessons to be learned. when we stop learning, we stop living. If Richard continues to be the teacher, I’ll welcome whatever it is I have yet to learn…even if it’s math!

This Time Last Year

While cleaning up all of my folders and downloads on my old laptop so that my daughter can use it, I had a look back through the browser history to see what I was doing on-line at this time last year. I hadn’t started blogging yet but had just gotten through those first few months of Armitage frenzy and finally felt things evening out a bit.

some randomness:

⭐ this reading nook:


⭐ voting in’s March Madness

⭐ reading blog posts on: Me+Richard; RAfrenzy; Love, Sex & Other Dirty Words; My Sort of Bloke; and Such is life

⭐ this DJ kitty:


⭐ wondering when members of message board in different fandom are going to overthrow me and friend for decorating excessively with Richard Armitage pics

Strike Back kicking gifs:



⭐ looking forward to visiting parents for Spring Break to introduce my dad to Strike Back and force my mom to watch The Hobbit dvd with us

⭐ Dean


⭐ hunting down “The Almighty Johnsons” and regularly saying Kili when I mean Fili


⭐ reading news about Spooks movie, and Black Sky financial concerns

⭐ defending Robin Hood series:

-Guy’s misguided and gullible nature

-Jonas/Joe casting switch personally preferred

-admit to enjoying the cheese factor…


⭐ calling “fake” when manip of Richard wearing kilt appeared and guessing it was Gerard Butler rather quickly


⭐ finding recipes for my Harry Potter themed Easter dinner; Butter-Beer has become a family favorite


⭐ always hiding my eyes when the Speedo shows up, while eagerly awaiting the Flirty-Girty


⭐ this fanvid,

which makes me smile and tear up at the same time: