Worth the Effort

Music & More Challenge

33.) character that reminds you of your Dad/Mom

I’ve stated that John Porter reminds me of my Father, so I’m going to go the female route with this one and answer: Carol Bolton reminds me of my Mother.

Mom’s reaction to me painting the room red would have differed from Carol’s. greatly.

Unlike others, I do have a favorable impression of Carol. Who we think is best for John comes from our own desires and not necessarily what he wants or needs himself. so I think a lot of the negative judgements towards Carol are biased in this regard.

I will love him and squeeze him and call him...Ralph
I will love him and squeeze him and call him Ralph

My mom shares some personality traits with Carol and she’s also had to fight against the negative judgements of others. Nothing as dire as Carol’s past has plagued my Mom but there are reasons why she reacts the way that she does.

In both cases, I see it as an unconscious defense mechanism for them: whoever is able to get past the protective walls, is someone who isn’t going to give up and walk away. whoever gets past the walls, already knows she’s worth the effort.


music question: a song that reminds you of your Mom/Dad

Taylor Swift’s “The Best Day”

because of this:


I’m thirteen now and don’t know how my friends could be so mean

I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys

And we drive and drive until we’ve found a town far enough away

And we talk and window shop until I’ve forgotten all their names



we did this often during my teenage years. I needed to know that I was worth the effort too.


Appreciation is Key

Music & More Challenge

6.) RA fandom fanfiction that you’ve read the most times

anything Sparkhouse

yeah, that’s not exactly an answer but it’s true! I’ve read the Sparkhouse stories the most, with Guy of Gisborne following close behind. Even though they are different stories in different settings, they both hold something in common for me: I like when John/Guy are finally appreciated for who they are.

but she likes my hair, and my sweater too

Most of the Sparkhouse stories start off following a showdown with Andrew. Some of them save him from his demise, some taking Lisa out of the equation completely (I like Lisa, so I’m not always a fan of this approach) but all of them have Carol or another female love interest appreciating John’s loyal and understanding nature. I like No More Ghosts by womblingfree1 the best in this regard. It shows the gentle turning of Carol’s heart over time.

let me tell you about this thing I just discovered called fanfic…

In the Guy of Gisborne universe I like when Marian or another female love interest realizes that Guy not only has deep rooted reasons for behaving the way that he does but that he’s working towards something, not just being a cold-hearted bastard for the fun of it. My favorite in this regard is Grant What I Wish by kleindog. Marian goes through her own form of redemption before helping Guy with his and, again, it’s more of a subtle awakening and appreciation over time.

this pic is like a fanfic all on it’s own *swoon*

and the Music question:

the song with the highest play count on your mp3 player

A Stranger Song by Bobby Long

does your heart beat so softly without warning?

does it beat out to the slow pace of the morning?

I love that line, so poetic.

I Need You To Need Me

Ever since dolphen3 posted the video on YouTube of Richard in Sparkhouse, I’ve been watching it nonstop! (it’s very nicely edited, condensed like a small movie)

Shh! this is the part where I call you a dickhead

It makes it so easy to focus on the parts of the story that I’m interested in (John) and leave out all the rest (Andrew). The entire story does need to be watched occasionally though, for context.

over-the-top? possibly. unwarranted? no.

I talk about John Standring quite a bit around here, so this time I’m going to talk about Carol. To put it simply: I like her.

Carol stops her plea to ask where they’re going, John says “I’ve run out of milk”. so practical, those two!

I don’t see her as the cold, unsuited match for John that others sometimes see. She was a jerk to John in the beginning, using him during her break-up with Andrew, but adult Carol has grown up quite a bit and seems to have her head on much straighter.

well, maybe except for those lingering grudges.

Carol’s friendship with John is very easy going, they understand each other. She and Lisa bring out the playful, down-to-earth side of him. John never questioned the plausibility of that “banana imports” routine that Carol tried to hide behind when she first rolled back into town, nor did he disapprove when it was found to be a ruse.

why did the banana go out with the prune? because she couldn’t find a date

When Andrew throws a wrench into things and Carol has to reassure John of her intentions, what she says is quite sincere:

” Yea, I do [still think about Andrew]. Thing is, don’t just go away, does it? stuff like that. Part of me probably will always think about him […] I want to think about this, about us. I want to think about Farm and all the things we’re gonna do to it.”

I do not doubt what she says, she really does want to move forward with John and share the work of the farm with him. Maybe she doesn’t feel for him romantically at that point but she does genuinely care for him, and so she wants to give him the parts of herself that he needs.

“you want to help me & in return I can give you things. that is not prostitution” well, actually Carol…

Events happen and the story ends on a cliffhanger. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that Carol picks herself up and gets back on track with John. This set back will not keep her down for long; she’s survived so much already, what is this really in comparison?

I like Carol. Her and I would probably be friends.

and I don’t have a dog, so it’s all good!

Stalwart and True

RA Character challenge

26.) Most Interesting Story


Even though it’s a tragic story, Sparkhouse was one that kept me engaged (I liked North & South too, but you could tell where that one was going rather quickly). The puppy-love story of Carol and Andrew, how he was going off to University and all the uncertainty and fear that came with that. Been there done that, minus the abusive father and boyfriend’s disapproving parents, thank goodness! though my future MIL did try to get me to break up with her son so that he could “experience college life”.

your son needs to get drunk every weekend, why exactly?

How John, the awkward farmhand, suffered in silence with unrequited love

(my middle name in adolescence could have been “unrequited” )

I had shoes that looked like that coat. no joke.

but when the chips were down who was there? John. Full of gentleness and understanding but still with plenty of that endearing awkwardness, though it was now mixed with a mature confidence that was rather enticing.

as is that sweater. I kind of have a *thing* for it. as I do the hair & sideburns.

Roles between the former young romantics became switched, Crazy girl passed on her title to University boy when he let jealousy consume him and ruin his home life.

give it to him, John! I mean…let’s sit down and talk this through like adults *blushes*

Meanwhile John was the safe haven, stalwart and true.

Ugh! That man!

I just want to cuddle up to those awful clothes forever ❤

Just Be

RA Character challenge

9.) A Character Who Inspires You

John Standring

John inspires me with the way that he simplifies his life. He doesn’t get caught up in the gossip or stick his nose into other people’s business, no matter how good the intentions. He’s helpful and understanding to those around him but I don’t think he spends a whole lot of time worrying about how others see him.

John doesn’t get weighed down with the desire for more; he’s accepting of his life and lives it to the best of his ability. He’s understanding, nurturing, has a calming sense about him, and although John can also be self-conscious and awkward, he’s very forthcoming about it; which ends up becoming his own brand of confidence.

John inspires me to relax, breathe, give things a chance to work, and just be.