Take Me to Church

I had a dream last night that Richard Armitage was the new priest at my childhood church.

Jesus loves me
Jesus does love me!


My overall impression of him was that his voice was lovely, as was his demeanor, but his hands were far too distracting. I couldn’t wait until the end of Mass so that I could get a handshake from him!

a Heavenly experience
sure to be a Heavenly experience


It had been awhile since the last time I was in that church so my eyes kept wandering. The awful gold lamay wall covering had been replaced with wallpaper that depicted “danger sports”. Images of bungee jumping and drag racing were there alongside the Stations of the Cross. Hmm. I’m all for moving forward with the times but that was a bit much.

let Jesus take the wheel!
let Jesus take the wheel!


I tried to subtly look up at the ceiling, because that’s where my eyes spent a lot of their time as a child, and I was upset to see that the wooden beams were covered with a drop-ceiling. There used to be a triangular crossbeam that I always imagined Jesus sitting on, swinging his feet in bliss, while I had to suffer through the sermons. And now it was gone. What the hell, Peter Jackson?! Peter was the one funding my little hometown church, so he was responsible for the changes. Speaking of which, he was currently over there in the adjoining pew, punching an inflatable beach ball around like they do at concerts.



Okay, Mass was now over and so I went to collect my husband (I have no idea why he wasn’t sitting with me) but he was engulfed in reading The Hobbit. He was sitting in the second row. “I hope you weren’t reading that during the Sermon!” I said. “What if Richard saw you?”



My husband just shrugged his shoulders and ignored me. At this point we’re the last ones in the church and I’ve missed my chance to shake Richard’s hand. Maybe if we’re quick enough, we can still catch him at the bottom of the stairs.

Men of God have fangirls too


Husband starts moving towards the side entrance, which would bypass the stairs. I tell him that I don’t want to go that way but he says he’s just getting his shoes. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that all shoes come off at the door. Another one of PJ’s forward thinking changes.



It’s then that my husband notices someone had switched out his shoes. He was left with a similar black pair, though the worse for wear, but missing the kick-ass red and orange flames of his own shoes. (I should mention that my husband is a very conforming sort of fellow who would never read in church or wear flame emblazoned shoes) This means that we’ll now be going down to the church Hall for refreshment hour in order to find his missing shoes.

more Heavenly experiences to come


Normally I would be angry at this turn of events but this will give me another chance to shake Richard’s hand! I hope he doesn’t have them full of Girl Scout cookies…


9 thoughts on “Take Me to Church

  1. Lol. I am impressed by the detail you can remember. My dreams vanish as soon as I wake up. Who knows how many ridiculous or wonderful dreams I have already had…
    Still laughing about the sheer idea of RA as priest… I wonder could he believably do it?


    1. I have several dreams each night, most of which I forget or don’t make sense but every once in awhile they actually do add up to an understandable story. the ones with Richard seem to center around the simplest of things: saying Hello, shaking his hand, sharing eye contact, etc. do I think Richard could believably play a priest? yes. but I think he can do anything so I might be biased 😉


      1. Haha, those simple things are the most realistic things – and yet so far removed from reality that they become dreams. Our minds are just beautiful things, eh?
        (Still having problems seeing RA as a priest. :-D)


        1. I’m wondering what your idea of a priest is? they’re essentially just teachers, very human (in my dream, Richard was sporting the “Bafta LA Tea Party” look with the longer-puffy hair, along with the black clothes and white collar of course…)

          Liked by 1 person

  2. And then… Did your dream stop there? 🙂
    Though there are already plenty of interesting things… PJ as the church fundraiser and the no-shoes rule made me laugh.


    1. yes, that’s where it stopped. I had vague thoughts of my husband and I looking under tables at people’s shoes as I was waking up, but no more Richard 😦


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