“H” is for Honesty

Do you ever feel like your interactions online are like a dinner party, where you need to watch what you say and how you say it in order to make a good impression?

No, dressing your poodle up as Legolas isn’t weird at all…

say what you wanna say
and let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.
~”Brave” by Sara Bareilles

Lately, I’ve been feeling like the things that I say keep getting misunderstood. I’d like to think that it’s not intentional, that I’m just being overly sensitive; and that is true to an extent.

I can be clumsy, does that make me stupid? huh, does it?! no, it makes you a klutz. get over yourself

*I* need to own this. *I* need to stop tip-toeing around the issues because “I’m new here and I don’t want to cause problems.“

what if they’re sleeping? maybe I should knock softer

When I do confront and it all goes to Hell,

It’s my own expectations that are my biggest downfall. My approach isn’t automatically the rule.

that was funny. laugh!

What are these unwritten rules that keep tripping me up? Well, as I understand them, they seem to be:

– be nice
I can do that *smiles*

– be respectful to your fellow fans
again, no problem!

– be respectful of Richard
this one can be subjective, so I’ll just invest in some blinders

Richard should probably get some too.

– I can respectfully criticize Richard, as long as I tack on a ‘whatever makes him happy‘ disclaimer
as Richard Armitage fans, isn’t that a given, that we want him to be happy?

unless it makes you happy *winks*

– I can state my opinions, as long as I include a ‘in my opinion‘ or ‘everyone has a right to their own opinion.‘
doesn’t the *I think* or *I feel* already cover that?

IMO! IMO!

– don’t accidentally accuse anyone of, well, anything. or imply that they are doing something wrong.
this is getting complicated (the doing it wrong issue can actually be one of my own hot-buttons; I’ve never claimed that I’m not a hypocrite)

 

So, in summary: I should just approach every conversation as if it has the potential to get me sued,

Richard! that is not PC! *tsk*

cover my ass, and just generally kiss ass

it’s better to say arse; I’ve not figured out why, yet.

and I should be fine!

 

I’ve not spent a lot of time on blogs before, most of my interactions in other fandoms have taken place on forums.

she doesn’t know our ways; I’ll vouch for her this time

I love the interactions I’ve had with all of you on this blog

you’rrre great!

but when I roam abroad, I should bring along some protection

get your mind out of the gutter, Richard!

to build me up a bit first. the lyrics to this Sara Bareilles song can help in that regard, give it a listen:

 

Have you ever felt this way too? What kinds of things are holding you back, either in fandom or in real life?

Swearing, perhaps?

fucking door!

Open!!

you, God damned…

bloody bastard!!

or maybe that’s just me?

Show me how big your brave is

“G” is for Gallant

Gallant: adj. 1.) brave, chivalrous 2.) grand, stately; finely dressed 3.) markedly attentive to women; concerned with sexual love

 noun. 1.) ladies man 2.) escort to a lady 3.) flirt.

When trying to think of a “G” word that could be associated with a Richard Armitage character, Gallant seemed like a safe bet- once I discarded my original thought of grappling hook (?) followed closely by giggle-snort.

try making a pic spam sing-along out of that one!

John Thornton, finely dressed man that he is, came to mind first.

John is chivalrous and it could also be said that he is brave, going against popular opinion with his choice of Margaret. Ladies man, though? Flirt? Markedly attentive to women?

That sounds more like Guy.

*this* is “attentive”

I wouldn’t describe Guy as grand or stately, though. Nor was he particularly brave or chivalrous.

scary? yes

What about Thorin? Certainly brave. Finely dressed and stately too

but not so concerned with sexual love, at least not that we know of.

“come and take a ride on my disco stick”

Is there a Richard Armitage character that encompasses all the different aspects of Gallant? John Porter, maybe?

hey there, Romeo

 Probably not so finely dressed, though.

“fine” is in the eye of the beholder

What about…Richard Armitage, himself?

he can be quite a “character”!

Finely dressed? check.

Brave? check.

Chivalrous? check.

Concerned with sexual love? check.

not really “proof” but I’m counting it!

Flirt? check.

Ladies man? does a whole army of ladies count?

check!

Escort to a lady? I’m sure he’s escorted a few in his day.

So, “Gallant” is for Richard Armitage!

“B” is for Blood

Not gruesome, not gory, and certainly not painful because this post is all about the delectable Alec Track.

tell me where it hurts

He is a doctor who deals with that red stuff on a daily basis, but that’s not the kind of Blood that brought him to my mind. Alec Track is the lead doctor of an air-ambulance helicopter team, in the short-lived 4 part series The Golden Hour.

Alec loves his job, being a doctor is in his Blood. Sadly not everyone can understand his dedication, most notably his love interest and fellow team member Jane.

she doesn’t seem to be minding it much here

She wants more than he can give; this is clearly illustrated by her mistaking his cute gesture of gifting her a toothbrush as mocking a desire to move in together, rather than the acknowledgement that the relationship is moving forward to a place where he would welcome her spending the night more.

just looking out for your dental health

They’ve kept the relationship secret up until this point because Alec fears that it might negatively impact the functioning of the team.

because love-triangles never end badly…

Jane playfully taunts Alec for not having feelings. I think that maybe he feels that focusing on a personal life for himself might be too distracting, or selfish in some way. Instead he chooses to be a workaholic of sorts, thus eliminating the option to brood over personal strife like his coworkers so often seem to do.

the Tongue of Concentration in action

Jane seems to be disappointed with the very things that attracted her to him in the first place. I think she realizes this when she sees Alec’s comforting manner with the newly awakened coma patient, who often took priority over those few moments during the working day when they could have spent quiet time together.

how’s that toothbrush been working out for you?

It might be easier for Alec to show special protectiveness towards a stranger who becomes his responsibility for a short while, than to nurture a romantic relationship for his own benefit.

looks easy enough to me!

Giving of yourself for something bigger than yourself can feel noble, while taking for yourself may feel selfish. Having a clear purpose drives you forward, while trying to navigate a romantic relationship often leaves you floundering.

lets ponder dying fish later, I have lives to save!

I don’t feel sorry for Alec, he doesn’t appear unhappy with his situation. Not everyone needs a romantic partner to be happy. I dislike when others place regrets and desires onto those who have chosen a different path than them. If the situation is of one’s own choosing, the Happy Police need to just move along!

Happy Police are rarely happy themselves

Choosing to embrace that special song that sings in your veins instead of wasting time wallowing in regret, should not be seen as a negative thing. We all have our own dreams and desires, there are just those whose blood may sing a little bit louder, the force of their passion may run a little bit stronger, so that not living that life would feel like not breathing to them. I respect and admire those people greatly.

Choosing to live the life that you want instead of letting others overly influence what or who should be important to you, is something to be celebrated.

Some parallels could possibly be drawn between Alec and Richard himself. Quite a few of our favorite characters have the “pursuit of passion to the detriment of romantic relations” syndrome in common: Alec, Lucas, Porter, Thorin.

that sounds like speculating…

But before anyone starts crying a river over the absence of a publicly recognizable romance in Richard’s personal life, nowhere does it say that it’s impossible to balance both. Keep in mind that none of us are qualified to be Richard’s Happy Police. But he being our Happy Place on the other hand; perfectly acceptable.

“A” is for Armor

A lot of RA bloggers seem to be doing the 30 day challenge this month, and I’m a bit jealous. I’ve done the challenge previously, with a small group of friends, and had planned to include that experience when I came to it in the recollection of my “fan-path”.

if I can’t have fun, no one can!

So, to mix things up a bit and give me the chance to ramble on about my love for different characters, I thought I’d try the A-Z blogging challenge instead.

“A” is for Armor

When I think of Armor, my mind automatically goes to Guy of Gisborne from Robin Hood.

I’m trying to be serious here, Guy, quit being cute!

Of Sir Guy’s two distinct costume choices, the series 3 “renaissance” resembles an actual protective covering

more than the “futuristic” leather, delightful though it may be.

Guy’s Armor was incorporated into what he wore everyday, with the option of being able to add to or remove from the overall outfit, depending on circumstances.

When I think of Guy and his Armor though, my mind tends to lean more towards the metaphorical. Armor: that protective covering that is added to or removed from one’s overall being; those invisible barriers that keep others away from what we try to keep hidden deep within our selves.

Guy was driven by a single-minded goal, to attain lands and status that would afford him the power and respect he so tirelessly fought his whole life for.

He tried to fit Marian into that goal as well, but even if she had reciprocated his attachment to her, I don’t think he would have let even her through those barriers.

Guy was burdened with deep-rooted hurts that were never afforded the chance to breathe. Instead, they melted into each other, were added to over time with each new rejection and personal failure, making that heavy Armor all the stronger.

It isn’t until Guy reaches the lowest of lows, drowning in guilt during series 3, that we see his Armor truly start to come off. Guy appears in his black shirt more often, minus those outer coverings, as he wanders in new directions.

Series 3 Guy is surrounded by the suffocating darkness he’s been living in; he must shed that Armor just so he can breathe! But in doing so he loses his anchor, that all consuming goal that had been misguiding him with it’s negative energy, pushing him forward for all of those years. It’s difficult to comprehend that there could be something different.

Guy faced his past, payed for his choices but also found those pieces of himself that were thought to be lost forever, buried under all of that Armor.

Guy’s acceptance from and protectiveness towards Meg, his fragile truce with Robin as they stayed tied together by their shared duty to Archer, Guy’s long-awaited reckoning with the Sheriff and his own sister’s revenge; all part of the painful journey on the path to his redemption.

Armor protects us from the harshness of the world. If you can’t separate your Armor into pieces that come off or go on in regards to one’s ever changing circumstances though, you will end up unintentionally harming that which you are trying to protect.

The only way out is through. You are often strongest when at your most vulnerable. Let your soul breathe.